What Celsius Flavor Are You Based on Your Zodiac Sign?

In terms of energy drinks, Celsius is kind of the one these days. It’s among a precious few energy bevs that could sit on the table in front of you in a fancy corporate meeting and not make you look like a skateboarding middle schooler. It’s also sugar free and extremely low cal compared to a lot of other energy drink brands (Monster, we love you, but looking at the back of a can is pretty shocking). That said, I simply can’t do it. One time I was so tired at work I could barely stay awake for a very important meeting I had that afternoon, so I drank about a third of a Celsius beforehand. Now, I don’t know how that meeting went (I blacked out), but later that day one of my coworkers told me they thought I was on something much harder than caffeine. Then again, I am a caffeine wimp. A lot of people swear by Celsius and can drink it and still function like human beings, not the squirrel from Over the Hedge.

Anyway, you aren’t here to listen to me prattle on about how I can’t handle my caffeine—you are here to find out which Celsius flavor best fits your vibe based on your zodiac sign. Will it quite literally be one of the Celsius “vibe” flavors? Let’s crack in.

Aries (March 21-April 19): Sparkling Orange

Aries folks are extremely competitive and love to win. And Celsius Sparkling Orange? That’s the breakfast of champions. Well, it’s the champion of our Sporked Celsius taste test and it’s also the most breakfast-adjacent Celsius flavor, so basically this all checks out.  

Taurus (April 20-May 20): Sparkling Oasis Vibe

You know what’s calming? Chilling in a desert oasis. That is, if early 2000s cartoons are anything to go by—I’ve never actually visited a real oasis myself. But I have visited my Taurus friends and they are a calming, cooling presence as well. Yes, they are a whole lot of fun, but when it comes to diffusing tension and making sure everyone is serene, calm, and sipping a refreshing bevvy at a park picnic, it’s Tauruses all the way, baybee.

Gemini (May 21-June 20): Fizz Free Blue Razz Lemonade

A berry. A citrus. Unrelated, yet so good together. Two very different things coming together to make a third even better thing. This is a 1:1 analogy with Geminis, and the two disparate parts of their personality coming together to create one messy, beautiful, fun-lovin’, chaotic whole.

Cancer (June 21-July 22): Sparkling Lemon Lime

At first you might be tempted to think, “Eh, I’ve had lemon lime before—been there, done that, I’ll pass.” But y’all. The Sporked team loved this one for its subtle, “almost tea-like” flavor. This Celsius flavor is a book that cannot be judged by its cover and the same goes for Cancers. They will always surprise you.

Leo (July 23-August 22): Sparkling Green Apple Cherry

Oh, what’s this? Two of the strongest flavors in the world of candy coming together in one glorious energy drink? This drink feels like an attention-grabbing punch in the face of flavor, which is 1000% how I would describe most of my Leo friends. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Virgo (August 23-September 22): Orange On-the-Go

Virgos are busy, yes, but they are also so detail oriented and on top of their sh*t. Hence, they are the on-the-go powder packet version of Orange Celsius—the best flavor AND in a portable format they can store in their bags and take anywhere. Virgos really do think of everything.

Libra (September 23-October 22): Fizz Free Raspberry Acai Green Tea

Okay, so there is a lot going on here. All good things, all good things. And not only are the things all good, they are also a bunch of seemingly unrelated flavors coming together in a sophisticated, mocktail-esque mix of beautiful, drinkable harmony. And since Libras love harmony and balance, I have no reason to believe they wouldn’t like those same things, but drinkable.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21): Sparkling Peach Vibe

This is a bit baffling to me. “Peach Vibe”? Is there a difference between a peach vibe and a peach flavor? All the other “vibe” flavors are abstract concepts, but this flavor pretty unmistakably maps one specific thing. The mystery and intrigue of all this reads as very Scorpio to me.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): Sparkling Arctic Vibe

Sagittarians love adventure, but not everyone has the gear or money to go on a random trip to the Arctic. Many people do, however, have the money to purchase Arctic Vibe Celsius, which I’m sure is a perfectly comparable experience. It, much like the Arctic, tastes like blueberries. Obviously.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Sparkling Fuji Apple Pear

Capricorns are old souls and you know what people used to drink back in the olden days before energy drinks and coffee? Apple cider, that’s what (don’t quote me on this), and this flavor of Celsius reminded the Sporked team of a fresh sparkling apple cider. So if you Capricorns are tired of “vibe” this and “arctic” that and kids running across your lawn, this may be your Celsius soul mate.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18): Sparkling Cosmic Vibe

Aquarians just have a Sparkling Cosmic Vibe—what can I say? I just tells it how I sees it.

Pisces (February 19-March 20): Sparkling Fantasy Vibe

Pisces are nostalgic and romantic, and that’s giving Fantasy Vibe. Also, Pisces love to play out elaborate scenarios in their heads, and I bet this Celsius is the perfect pairing for that kind of behavior. Fantasy vibes on vibes on vibes.