Trader Joe’s Haul: 5 Picks Under $2

Trader Joe’s prices are just ridiculous—ridiculously low, that is! Cue air horns as a “GOTCHA” banner unfurls, Ashton Kutcher jumping out, and the awkward explanation for all of the youngins out there who don’t know about Punk’d. Anyway, this isn’t a sponsored ad for Trader Joe’s low prices, nor is it an MTV nostalgia play. It’s simply a run down of a few top Trader Joe’s items under $2 you should be buying.

With a variety of products under $2 that showcase their signature creativity and quality, TJ’s offers a lot of bang for your buck. Plus, you’ll be able to save even more when you cancel your gym membership because you can get your steps in during a marathon shopping session, and do your strength training when you carry in all the extra groceries you just couldn’t resist.

We’ve compiled the best sub-two-dollar items you can get right now from Trader Joe’s, so get your shopping list, count your money, and then occupy yourself with something else for a bit because the bus doesn’t come for a while and you only had to count two dollars.

Chai Tea Mints ($1.99): Sometimes you crave the complex spices of chai tea but don’t have the time to brew some up. Sometimes you’ve just housed a tuna salad sandwich with olives before realizing, “Oh crap, my date’s almost here and olives are disgusting but I was trying to make a point about having bad breath so I could segue into how great these TJ’s mints are.” If you have been victim to one or more of these situations, you may be entitled to absolutely no financial compensation, but you would probably really like these chai tea mints.
Everything But the Elote Seasoning Blend ($1.99): While it seems like the Everything Bagel blend is the one that really blew up the “Everything But The…” category, the Elote Seasoning Blend is not to be slept on. (In fact, we ranked it as one of the best Trader Joe’s seasonings, period.) For less than $2, you can get this jar that’s just one corn cob away from elote. The blend has all the elote staples like chile pepper, parmesan cheese, chipotle powder, cumin, dried cilantro, and sea salt, and will allow you to transform the flavor profile of any food into the beloved Mexican street corn.
Tangy Turtles ($1.99): These turtle-shaped gummies are soft and chewy with a sugar coating that gives them that textural intrigue that would keep us coming back for more even if they weren’t flavored with different fruity options like lemon, black currant, apple, blueberry, cherry, and passion-peach. Could these be our new favorite turtles? Very possibly. Get wrecked, Franklin.
Chocolate Covered Wafer Cookie with Peanut Butter Filling ($0.89): Tragedy has struck. You want a Kit Kat and a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, but you can’t afford both. You’re also at Trader Joe’s where those candies aren’t sold, which is just salt in the wound. The good news? TJ’s has something better. These chocolate covered wafer cookies have a peanut butter filling to round out the trio from heaven.
Jerk Style Plantain Chips ($1.99): We’re not going to make a joke about how our ex could make normal plantain chips “jerk style” just by holding them. We would never, because we’re mature, unlike our ex, who is a big fart. We much prefer these jerk plantain chips, which are one of our favorite crunchy, savory, and spicy snacks. This is a great way to get your fix of jerk flavors without committing to chicken or pork, and it provides a satisfying crunch that you’ll only get from chicken if you’re doing it wrong. The pros at TJ’s warn that the heat builds as you eat, so proceed with absolutely no caution but maybe some water.