Ah, the ice cream truck. Bringer of ice cold summery joy, purveyor of sweet treats, vehicle solely and uniquely responsible for training us all like Pavlov’s dogs to salivate to Scott Joplin’s “The Entertainer.” No matter what ice cream trucks are to you, you can bet that they all have at least one thing you would enjoy. Not only that, but every ice cream truck has at least one ice cream novelty that perfectly encapsulates your vibe. So whether you are chill, sweet, or covered in weird little cake pieces, here is what ice cream truck treat you are based on your zodiac sign.
Aries (March 21-April 19): Ice Cream Swirl Cone (King Cone)
This one is a classic. It is difficult to find a person who doesn’t like a good ol’ chocolate-swirled ice cream cone, just like it is difficult to find people who Aries folks don’t get along with. Plus, Aries are natural leaders and they don’t call this sweet treat a king cone for nothing.
Related: The Best Sundae Cones for Any Day of the Week
Taurus (April 20-May 20): Push-Up Pops
Why are Tauruses Push-Up Pops? Because nostalgia, that’s why. Push-Up Pops evoke memories of sitting on the curb with a melty popsicle in a papery cylinder, hanging with the neighborhood kids, and always having inexplicably sticky hands (spoiler alert, it was the Push-Up Pops). You know the warm sunny feeling that last sentence gave you? That’s how it feels to be around a Taurus.
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Gemini (May 21-June 20): Orange Creamsicle
Creamsicles are delicious. They are tangy, orange-y, zesty, and fruity, and they are also creamy, vanilla-y, and soft. These two disparate sides come together to make (if I do say so myself) an ass-kickin’, harmonious whole that everyone enjoys. This is just like Geminis, who have two distinct sides to them, but hey, that’s what makes them crazy fun to be around.
Related: The Best Vanilla Ice Cream We Found in Our Taste Tests
Cancer (June 21-July 22): Drumstick
This one is a bit literal so hear me out. Cancer is crabs, and crabs have a hard outer shell. Drumstick is also crabs because Drumsticks have that delicious hard outer shell made of chocolate and nuts. Therefore, Cancers are Drumsticks. They both have a hard outer shell. But once you break through a Cancer’s emotional walls and really get to know them, my gosh, they are so sweet. Plus, if you get to know them REALLY well, you’ll find the fun little treasure that is their spicy innermost thoughts, just like the fun little chocolate treasure at the bottom of a Drumstick cone.
Related: The Best Sundae Cones for Any Day of the Week
Leo (July 23-August 22): Choco Taco
Remember when Choco Taco was super melodramatic last summer and announced that “OH NOOOO! I’m being discontinued, everybody cry about it and stock up on me,” and then shortly after that, they pulled a PR stunt where you could win one of the last 912 Choco Tacos? And then they were actually discontinued? (Or were they? I feel like they are going to come back next year.) Anyway, the point is, Leos and Choco Tacos both have a flair for the dramatic. Is it a lot sometimes? Sure! Is it entertaining? Always. Is it usually worth the drama because they are so fun? Absolutely.
Related: Did the Choco Taco Play Us All?
Virgo (August 23-September 22): Cookies and Cream Cup (Ice Cream Cups)
The ice cream truck ice cream cup is the ultimate practical and delicious choice. It lasts a long time and stays cold, it will not drip on you, and you can put it down for a few minutes to keep playing. Plus, it is as tasty as eating about a half pint of ice cream (because that is exactly what it is). This is the perfect ice cream truck treat for the practical, busy bee Virgos. Want to get back to owning the kickball game or swinging on the monkey bars and not have to hold something the whole time? This ice cream truck treat truly does it all.
Related: The Best Cookies and Cream Ice Cream You Can Buy
Libra (September 23-October 22): Rocket Pop
Libras are all about balance and harmony and there are few popsicles out there with a better balance of perfect summer flavors than the rocket pop (or bomb pop, whatever you call it in your neck of the woods). Instead of having to decide on a flavor, you automatically get blue raspberry, cherry, and lemon, all in one. It is the triple whammy of ice cream truck snacks, balancing its three flavors perfectly just like a Libra would.
Related: Cool Off with the 7 Best Popsicles
Scorpio (October 23-November 21): Chocolate Éclair
Scorpios can be hard to read. You know what else is hard to get a read on? Chocolate Éclair ice cream bars. They are not the same thing as those cream-filled, chocolate-covered, very French choux pastry creations. No no, they are their own thing: rectangle-shaped chocolate ice cream wrapped in vanilla ice cream, all rolled in chocolate and vanilla cake pieces. How Good Humor (the brand of the ice cream bars) got from one to the other is beyond me, but damn if these things aren’t exceedingly delicious. Bottom line, Scorpios are like chocolate éclair ice cream bars—sometimes they make no sense and leave you with more questions than answers, but gosh are they a delight.
Related: An Updated Ranking of the Best Chocolate Ice Cream
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): Chipwich
Sagittariuses are curious folk, and I don’t know about you, but whenever I eat an ice cream sandwich made with chocolate chip cookies as opposed to those chocolate rectangle things that normal ice cream sandwiches are made with, I am always curious how many bites I will be able to take before the whole thing slides apart in my hands. It’s like one of those “how many licks to get to the center of the tootsie pop” situations, except for me and Chipwiches, the answer is always one lick and then somehow it is everywhere. BUT every time I am very curious to see if it will go differently, and there is something very Sagittarian about that curiosity.
Related: Stock Your Freezer with the Best Ice Cream Sandwiches
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Frozen Lemonade Cup
Capricorns are patient people, and that patience is refreshing in a world where everyone wants immediate gratification in all situations. Similarly, frozen lemonade cups are one of the most refreshing things you can get at an ice cream truck. Plus, you have to be a little patient while you wait for the lemonade to soften enough to let your little wooden spoon thingy slide through—a very Capricornian experience indeed.
Related: The Best Italian Ice Flavors at the Grocery Store
Aquarius (January 20-February 18): SpongeBob with Crazy Eyes
You know those character popsicles ice cream trucks always had? You know how one of them was always SpongeBob? You know how SpongeBob’s gum ball eyes were never quite right and there was always one eye in a normal eye spot and another, like, on his tie? Or sometimes there was only one eye on a given SpongeBob (or three), and he looked more like a demonic entity than a smiling underwater pineapple dweller? Anyway, that’s big Aquarius energy right there—you never know what you are going to get on a given day, but it will never not be interesting.
Pisces (February 19-March 20): Strawberry Shortcake
Strawberry Shortcake ice cream bars are just like the Chocolate Éclairs but they are pink instead of brown and strawberry instead of chocolate. These things are a gosh darn delight. Seeing as Pisces are also a gosh darn delight, this confection seems like a great match for our Pisces friends. Plus, as the most romantical, kind, and whimsical sign, you could say that trusting and loyal Pisces see the world through rose-colored glasses, and nothing is more whimsical and rosy than a pink strawberry ice cream cake on a stick.
Thoughts? Questions? Complete disagreement? Leave a comment!