Ah, road trips. The only kind of trip where you are locked in a metal box with the same two to six people for hours on end with nothing to do but play the license plate game, laugh at that one road sign that says Zzyzx (IYKYK), and get on each other’s nerves. But there is another way. Another route to road trip peace and harmony: endless snacking. That’s right, make sure all of your friends have their favorite snacks on hand and this will be the smoothest ride of your road trippin’ career. That being said, the mix of personalities in the vehicle also makes a difference, and to help you better understand your particular mix of friends, here is our breakdown of road trip snacks as zodiac signs.
Aries (March 21-April 19): Beef Sticks
Beef sticks are THE classic, #1 road trip snack. They are salty, delicious, non-messy, and have at least a little protein to keep you full if that was one of your snacking goals. There are very few people who don’t like a good beef stick on the road, just like there are very few people who don’t like to have an Aries around. Plus, we have to give the #1 snack to the people who love to be #1.
Read the full ranking of the best beef sticks
Taurus (April 20-May 20): Granola Bars
Granola bars are always there for you. You forgot a snack? No biggie, you found an emergency granola bar in your glove compartment. You ran out of snacks and are 100 miles from the next rest stop? Not to worry, someone in the car has a granola bar in their backpack. Much like Tauruses, granola bars are there for you even when it’s tough. Thanks, granola bars (and Tauruses).
Read the full ranking of the best granola bars
Gemini (May 21-June 20): Sour Patch Kids
These are a fantastic road trip snack. Why? Because they have two distinct tastes happening within them: sweet and sour. And if that doesn’t perfectly describe Geminis, then I don’t know what does. Plus, there are a bunch of different flavors, so if you are driving and not looking, then you never know what flavor you are going to pull out of the bag next. And as with Geminis and Sour Patch Kids, you may not know exactly what you are going to get, but you know it is going to be good.
Read the full ranking of the best sour candy
Cancer (June 21-July 22): Beef Jerky
Beef jerky can be tough to break into, but once you are able to get your teeth through it, oh my goodness, does it taste fantastic. Similarly, it takes a while to get to know a Cancer well enough that they trust you with their deeper thoughts and the more closely guarded aspects of their personality, but once you get there, boy is it worth it. Cancers ALWAYS have insane amounts of tea to spill.
Read the full ranking of the best beef jerky
Leo (July 23-August 22): Sunflower Seeds
Leos are the main character. They just are. And what’s more main character than a snack that requires almost as much concentration as driving? Sunflower seeds need attention and care in order to be eaten and enjoyed without making a mess, and Leos require lots of attention and care, too. But both Leos and sunflower seeds are definitely worth the attention.
Read the full ranking of the best sunflower seeds
Virgo (August 23-September 22): PB&Js From Home
Virgos are busy people. They don’t have time to stop at a rest stop and peruse the endless aisles of snacks! No siree, Virgos are packing PB&Js at 6 a.m. the morning you leave for the trip while everyone else is still asleep, and they are distributing them anytime someone says they are hungry. It may not be a bag of chips, but everyone really appreciates having a hearty lil sammy to munch on—and they also appreciate having Virgos around to think of those things.
Read the full rankings of the best peanut butter and the best grape jelly
Libra (September 23-October 22): Trail Mix
Libras just want a good balance, and trail mix has it all: sweet, salty, fruity, and chocolatey. Libras, much like trail mix, have something for everyone, and there aren’t a lot of personalities that don’t mesh well with theirs in a group.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21): Combos
Scorpios are hard to read when you first meet them. Not everyone understands them right away. Similarly, I don’t really get what Combos even are. I have had them multiple times. I still don’t know. But are they awesome? Absolutely. So are Scorpios.
Read the full ranking of the best Combos flavors
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): M&M’s
M&M’s were literally invented to give us chocolate that doesn’t get all melty in our hands. Seeing as Sagittariuses are knowledge seekers who tend to be curious about various things, we can only assume that they will be the ones navigating this ship (car) and we all know navigators can’t have chocolate all over their hands or they will put the whole mission at risk.
Read the full ranking of the best M&M’s flavors
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Starbucks Run
Capricorns are patient and have the ability to take their time with things. So, instead of quickly running into a gas station and heading out, you know our Capricorn friends are going to want to stop at Starbucks, wait for their order to be made, and then head out. It might take a little longer than simply grabbing chips at the Quick Mart, and we might make fun of them a little for taking so long, but when they emerge with coffees for everyone and some fun pastries, everyone will agree it was worth the wait.
Aquarius (January 20-February 18): Nutter Butter Bites
Why? Because you weren’t expecting it. Why else would an Aquarius do something?
Read the full ranking of the best peanut butter cookies
Pisces (February 19-March 20): Jalapeño Cheddar Cheetos
I don’t know why but these Cheetos are highly nostalgic, and seeing as Pisces love to be fanciful and romanticize life, nostalgia fits right into the brand. Maybe it’s because these are cheesy rather than whatever flavor Flamin’ Hot Cheetos are, maybe it’s the jalapeño flavor, or maybe they are just something I happen to have fond memories of. But either way, these are a very cheesy, slightly spicy crowd pleaser, and everyone likes them just like everyone likes Pisces.
Read the ranking of the best Cheetos flavors
Thoughts? Questions? Complete disagreement? Leave a comment!