A wise man once said—actually, wait, no, it was Mythical Chef Josh Scherer. A man once said that everybody has exactly two things in common: We all gotta eat and we’re all gonna die. I agree for the most part, but I would add that everyone also has an astrological sign and everybody loves cookies, and if you disagree with me you’re wrong. Welcome to the internet, baybee!!! And because personalities are clearly like baked goods (again, welcome to the internet!), check out our list below of what cookie you are based on your zodiac sign.
Aries: Girl Scout Cookies (all of them)
Aries sometimes have a tendency to easily become bored, so they would definitely be the cookies that will keep them entertained for months! Think of the colorful boxes and all the different flavors mmmmMMM—how could anyone tire of that? Aries are also competitive and, let’s face it, Girl Scout cookies = mini capitalism, the most competitive game of all.
Taurus: Sugar Cookie
Tauruses are reliable, soothing, and can be risk-averse at times. Never fear, Tauruses, sugar cookies generally taste pretty similar no matter where you get them. That being said, they are chewy, delicious, and underrated, much like a Taurus. Also like a Taurus, sugar cookies deserve more respect.
Gemini: Black And White Cookie
I don’t really think I need to explain this one. Y’all get it. I mean, not only do these cookies have two distinct sides to them (personalities, one could say), they are also fluffy like cake, and a true crowd pleaser given they have both a chocolate and vanilla half, so no matter your mood, you’re covered. These cookies have distinct Gemini energy and I cannot be convinced otherwise.
Cancer: Chocolate Chip
Cancers are nuturing, perceptive, and often take on other people’s problems (even to their own detriment). Well, Cancers, y’all have to be the chocolate chip cookies. You are warm and comforting and gooey and chocolatey (or at least two of those things), and you truly are a classic, reliable gal.
Leos care about luxury, standing out, and aesthetics, and macarons are associated with all of those attributes AND France. What can I say, Leos, y’all exude big, warm, creative energy and you look great doing it!
Virgos are put-together perfectionists and Milanos are one of the most minimalist clean-looking-but-still-super-interesting cookies. And what’s better than some put-together looking cookies for the detail-oriented perfectionist? Nothing, I tell ya. Much like Virgos you can bring Milanos to any party and absolutely no one will be disappointed.
Libras have really good aesthetics, like to make sure everyone is included, and are able to see all sides of every issue. What cookie looks good from every angle and has flavors for every person/occasion? Oreos, baybee! Also, you cannot convince me there is anything more attractive or well-balanced than a Double Stuf Oreo.
Scorpio: Monster Cookie
Scorpios can be edgy bois and these cookies literally have “monster” in the name. That’s pretty ~badass~, Scorpios. Also, as a mix of peanut butter, oatmeal, chocolate chips, and M&Ms, you really can’t go wrong with monster cookies or Scorpio friends. Also, according to Co-Star, Scorpios apparently wear leather jackets, and I’m just sayin’ that’s some good cookie storin’ pockets right there, Scorpios.
A Sagittariuses is that one person who really wants to delve into your whole life story at a party. They simply make you feel at home and they, like Snickerdoodles, have a really fun name to say (and they can both get through the Green Glass Door, iykyk).
Capricorn: Ginger Snaps
Capricorns are the responsible mom friend who makes sure you and your other friends don’t die of bad choices. They deserve our love and respect because, let’s face it, we wouldn’t be here today without them. They are just that practical. And don’t ask me why I think this, but ginger snaps seem like a responsible cookie. They aren’t necessarily the craziest cookie in the cookbook, but we like them, they are super reliable, and they are nice to have around.
These creamy and crispy layered wafer cookies are one of life’s true curveballs. Is this even really a cookie? Is it a crispy cake? The question alone could keep an Aquarius occupied for days, thus Aquarians are officially Quadratini.