Drink Swap: Dry January Edition

As the Champagne bubbles settle and the holidays fade away, many embark on a familiar tradition: Dry January. Curious how we decided to abstain from drinking the month we go back to work. Feels a little cruel, doesn’t it? But I digress… 

To make this entire experience less painful, here’s a handy little guide on what non-alcoholic drinks to buy based on the alcoholic drinks you already know and love.

If you like red wine, try Sovi Reserve Red

best non alcoholic red wine for dry january

“How am I supposed to end a stressful day without a glass of red wine?” asks Local Wine Aunt. It’s an excellent question, and unfortunately experts agree there’s no perfect solution. But since the invention of Sovi Reserve Red (a non-alcoholic red wine), things have been looking up. “That’s the stuff,” wrote Sporked managing editor Gwynedd Stuart after she took a sip, describing the Sovi as “tannic and oaky… but still smooth and light bodied.” 

That said, it’s on the pricier side ($38), and if you’ve already committed to Dry January, you may be committed to other New Year’s resolutions—like spending less money. So…

If you like red wine on a budget, try Be Well Cabernet Sauvignon

At $15 a bottle, Be Well’s non-alcoholic Cabernet Sauvignon carries a neutral, balanced flavor with notes of black plum and dark cherry. It’s a lovely and affordable alternative to your favorite bottle of red. Protect your wallet. Protect your peace. And protect your Local Wine Aunt, because these are trying times. 

Read the full ranking of the best non-alcoholic-red-wine

If you like Budweiser, Coor’s, or other classic “beers,” try O’Doul’s Premium Golden Non-Alcoholic Brew

The thing about O’Doul’s non-alcoholic beer is that it doesn’t try too hard. You know what you’re getting. There are no mind games, no odd little flavor quirks trying to overcompensate for some deep-rooted insecurity… O’Doul’s is a straightforward, no-nonsense “yes” to the question “is this a good non-alcoholic beer?” In this day and age, what more can a lady ask for?

If you like stout, try Guinness 0

Honestly, unless Guinness simply isn’t your jam, this one’s a no-brainer. As Sporked editor-in-chief Justine Sterling can attest, Guinness and Guinness 0 taste almost exactly the same. Why mess with a classic? Swap these out in your fridge and see if you can even tell the difference. 

Read the full ranking of the best non-alcoholic beers

If you like hard seltzer, try Spindrift Lime

We rant and rave about Spindrift here at Sporked, and every time we revisit our ranking of the best Spindrift flavors, Lime never fails to amaze us. Buy a pack if you crave something bright, bubbly, and tart—and keep the leftovers for when this whole nightmare is over, because while great on its own, Spindrift Lime is a pretty powerful mixer to have on hand anyway.

If you miss Mojitos, try Spindrift Nojito

A beautiful blend of mint and lime, Gwynedd aptly describes the Nojito as an “improvement” to Spindrift Lime, and I wholeheartedly agree. One sip of the Nojito puts me at ease in the same way you could say alcoholic beverages would put me at ease… simply because it’s so darn pleasant and refreshing. 

Read the full ranking of the best Spindrift Sparkling Water

If you crave spicy cocktails, try Mocktail Club Bombay Fire

The chili peppers in Bombay Fire steal the show here, earning the mocktail 9/10 sporks and proving once again that sweet heat is always a winning flavor combo. 

Read the full ranking of the best canned mocktails

If you survive on White Claw, try White Claw 0% Alcohol

Since it just hit stores last week, we can’t totally vouch for this pick yet. But if you’re a committed Claw consumer, well, why not give it a go? Bonus: If your New Year’s resolution also includes curbing calories, White Claw 0% only have 15 per serving as opposed to their regular 95. 

If you like Baileys, try Southern Comfort Traditional Egg Nog

Now, if you’re under the age of sixty, you might be scratching your head at this one. But look, I’m a twenty-something here to represent the Baileys, Rumchata, White Russian, and all dairy-infused nightcap fanatics. These drinks are cozy, and I live for cozy. And for my fellow lactose intolerant friends, the Chobani Oatmilk Oat Nog will also do the trick. (Plus, you can probably find these nogs on sale since it’s post holiday.)

Read the full ranking of the best egg nog 

About the Author

Ariana Losch

Ariana Losch is a Sporked contributor, webcomic writer, java junkie, and bad TV enthusiast. She only ever feels at peace laying out on a beach like a kebab, roasting in the sun; sadly, she can never move back to Florida, her home state, because there simply isn’t enough good Mediterranean food. You can find her overstaying her welcome at just about every LA coffee shop, working on a screenplay and avoiding all eye contact. (She is embarrassed to be there, please leave her alone.)

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  • wow just what i needed for dry january – will have to try some of these. been struggling these last 8 days, only 27 days left but who is counting ha ha

    don’t get spindrift nasty juice that

    overall thought this was funny. like this briana losch