The best Hidden Valley Ranch products are super flavorful—tangy and zesty, just like their namesake. Hidden Valley Ranch products should add a punch to whatever you put them on.
I’m a huge Hidden Valley Ranch fan. I add their dressing to everything. I’ve been using it my whole life. I dream of owning this Hidden Valley Ranch lounge set. Given what an ardent HVR fan I am, I’m surprised how little I knew about their extensive line of products. You can buy almost anything and everything in Hidden Valley Ranch form. We ordered all the Hidden Valley Ranch products we could get our hands on and tried them in a head-to-head (to-head-to-head-to-head) taste test to find the ones that best channel that iconic salad dressing. Below is our ranking of everything Hidden Valley Ranch.
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- Golden Secret Sauce
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I’m rarely this put off by a sauce, but these Hidden Valley Ranch Secret Sauces are disgusting. They taste like old canola oil mixed with chemicals. All of these are bad and you should avoid buying any of them, but “Golden”—a “sweet & tangy” attempt at a burger sauce—is probably the worst. Do not, I repeat, do not buy them.
Credit: Merc / Target
- Smokehouse Secret Sauce
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Once again, these are horrific. This tastes like if you left an open jar of mayonnaise in your car for a week and you live in Florida and it’s August and then, just for fun, you added a tiny dash of liquid smoke. I would rather eat a cigarette.
Credit: Merc / Walmart
- Original Secret Sauce
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These are the first 0/10 Spork Scores I’ve ever given in my time at Sporked. That’s how bad these sauces taste. It is truly unbelievable to me that the Hidden Valley Ranch people signed off on these. I think people probably buy them because they’re curious and then never buy them again. Don’t be curious! Don’t buy these!
Credit: Merc / Target
- Fiesta Ranch Dip
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These tubs of dip were surprising to me. A Hidden Valley Ranch seasoning packet mixed with sour cream or yogurt is so good—how could they mess up a dip so badly? The texture is gelatinous and they have a chemical-y aftertaste. Just take the additional steps and make your own dip with the packet and skip these.
Credit: Merc / Stater Bros
- Classic Ranch Dip
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This is no better than the fiesta dip. Why are these so bad? How did Hidden Valley Ranch make a product that tastes nothing like Hidden Valley Ranch? I don’t have answers to any of these questions, but I can tell you not to buy these premade dips. Stick to the packet or the classic bottle of ranch.
Credit: Merc / Stater Bros
- Spicy Secret Sauce
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The Spicy Secret Sauce is the best flavor in the lineup of Hidden Valley Ranch secret sauces. That being said, it is still gross. I could see a world where, out of sheer desperation, you’d use this on a fish taco or something of the like, but I wouldn’t ever choose it over almost anything else.
Credit: Merc / Target
- Buttermilk Ranch
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Hidden Valley Ranch Buttermilk Ranch broke my heart. Adding buttermilk to ranch normally elevates it. That is not the case here. This has a strange chemical-forward, processed taste. I would never ever choose this over the regular Hidden Valley Ranch.
Credit: Merc / Target
- Snak Club Toasted Corn
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Again, this is not worth your snack money. It doesn’t taste anything like Hidden Valley Ranch. It’s also not as good as regular Corn Nuts. This feels like a miss on both fronts, so I’m labeling it a “do not buy.”
Credit: Merc / Amazon
- Bigs Zesty Ranch Sunflower Seeds
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If you like sunflower seeds, you’ll like these. If you’re looking for big ranch flavor, skip these. To me, they just taste like lightly seasoned sunflower seeds. The flavor they did have was good, though. If Bigs amped up the amount of seasoning on these seeds, they could have a winner on their hands.
Credit: Merc / Stater Bros
- Southwest Chipotle Ranch
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Hidden Valley’s chipotle ranch definitely tastes good. It doesn’t, however, taste anything like chipotle peppers. I think this should be relabeled as “Taco Ranch,” because it tastes like the ranch you know and love mixed with taco seasoning. I think this would crush on a taco salad, but I do think it loses points for being labeled poorly.
Credit: Merc / Walmart
- Spicy Seasoning Packet
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Now we’re getting into the good stuff. All the Hidden Valley Ranch seasoning packets absolutely rule. This spicy rendition tastes like ranch mixed with tabasco powder. I think this would be delicious as a dry rub on wings or mixed with mayo to make a dip for pizza. Obviously, you could put it on a salad, too. Really, you could do anything with it because it tastes great!
Credit: Merc / Target
- Fiesta Dips Mix
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This is tasty! If you mixed this into sour cream and put it on fajitas, you would be the happiest person on planet earth. You could even mix this into your ground meat instead of taco seasoning for fiesta ranch tacos. I love this Hidden Valley Ranch fiesta seasoning packet and would definitely recommend buying it because of its delicious taste and wonderful versatility.
Credit: Merc / Walmart
- Bugles
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There was some debate around our office about these Hidden Valley Ranch Bugles. Some people wanted them to be a little ranchier, but we all could agree that they taste great. I was perfectly happy with the amount of Hidden Valley Ranch these brought to the table. They also have a nice garlicky flavor. I don’t know if I could tell you these were a Hidden Valley Ranch product if I was blindfolded, but I could tell you that it was ranch flavored and it was delicious.
Credit: Merc / Ralphs
- Seasoning Packet
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You already know and love the original Hidden Valley Ranch seasoning packet. You can make dip or dressing at home with the addition of basically any creamy substance. Many believe that this is the best version of an at-home ranch (outside of homemade, of course) and I can’t argue with that. It’s very, very good. Want to mix it up? Sprinkle this over popcorn or add it to ground meat and make burgers!
Credit: Merc / Target
- Coleslaw Topping & Dressing
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I fell in love with Hidden Valley Ranch Coleslaw Dressing the moment it hit my lips. It’s so delicious. It’s creamy, tangy, and has the perfect amount of sweetness. If you brought a bag of coleslaw mix stirred together with this to a potluck, you’d be the most popular person. You could also use this as a salad dressing over greens with some red onion, rotisserie chicken, and cucumber. I love this stuff.
Credit: Merc / Ralphs
- Ranch
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Nothing beats the original Hidden Valley Ranch. It is perfect. That’s why it’s our #1 store-bought ranch dressing! Some people want to act like it’s not good, but they are wrong. The taste, accessibility, packaging, and price tag are all 10/10. If you don’t like Hidden Valley Ranch, talk to a doctor.
Credit: Merc / Target
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You forgot the bacon flavored Hidden Valley Ranch. I rate it a meh. 4/10.