Ah, May, when Star Wars references skyrocket on the 4th, children scramble to convince mothers that they didn’t forget about Mother’s Day, and you just know you’re going to have that dang *NSYNC song stuck in your head all the livelong month. Luckily, that forever bop is a perfect soundtrack for strolling the aisles of Trader Joe’s, which is offering some characteristically fun and flavorful options this month. Here are our picks for the top six new Trader Joe’s foods to score ASAP.
- Milk Chocolate Covered Honeycomb Candy
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Have you ever heard that eating local honey can help alleviate seasonal allergies? We have, and we didn’t really look into it but seeing it on Reddit through our swollen, itchy eyes was all the research we needed to go get these milk chocolate-covered honeycomb candies. These delightful little bites have smooth, rich chocolate on the outside and crispy, airy, honey-rich innards. Will they help your allergies? Probably not, but you won’t mind the sneezing so much if you have a bag on hand.
- Grilled Chili Lime Chicken Breast
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We’ve always wanted to snap our fingers and magic some perfectly cooked chicken, but the friction of our fingers when we snap does not generate enough heat to get poultry up to temp. Luckily, Trader Joe’s is now offering the easiest, fastest way to get delicious grilled chicken, with a significantly lower risk of getting salmonella for the [mumbles] time. Put it in soup, add it to a taco salad, slap it into a quesadilla, or eat it straight from the package.
- Dried Australian Red Papaya
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Dried papaya is often made with sugar and sulfur dioxide. And fresh papaya often requires peeling and deseeding. What to do? Well, Trader Joe’s has swooped in and solved both of these issues, with easy-to-eat dried papaya devoid of added sugar or sulfites. It’s conveniently sliced, dried, and ready for you to throw it into your bag as a snack, chop it up and add to your morning granola, or display proudly on your counter to put that egotistical dried mango in its place.
- Jumeokbap
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Rice is great. Rice that’s full of delicious extras like vegetables and bulgogi? Even better. Rice that’s full of delicious extras like vegetables and bulgogi but the bulgogi is plant-based meat so pretty much everyone can eat it? Better still. All that in a triangular handheld form you can eat without dirtying utensils? You see where we’re going with this. Trader Joe’s jumeokbap are the perfect little rice snacks to hold you over until dinner or enjoy as a light lunch.
- Lemon Pesto Pasta Sauce
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Gone are the days when we had to choose between a lemon pasta and a pesto pasta. At least until TJ’s pulls this seasonal favorite off of the shelves for another year. But for now, we can rejoice in the knowledge that a bright, herbaceous dish is just a few spoonfuls away. So go forth, take advantage of the limited edition condiment. May your potatoes never be bland. May your shrimp never be unmarinated. May your pantries be stocked full of this stuff because you got to the aisle first and it’s every man for themselves when it comes to lemon pesto.
- Organic Jalapeno Limeade
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We like lemonade, but sometimes we want something just a little bit tangier. That’s where limeade comes in. And the addition of spicy jalapeno to tart but sweet limeade is sure to be just the one-two punch you need to wake up even though your seasonal allergies have your eyes swollen shut. Plus, it’s absolutely hilarious to give to the kiddos at the family barbeque.
Trader Joe’s is actively trying to destroy workers’ rights in this country by claiming the National Labor Relations Board is unconstitutional, and they have been firing workers suspected of organizing unions. Please refrain from shopping there until they cease their attempt to undermine workers’ rights.