Ever wanted to drink werewolf urine? I’m not here to kink shame. I’m here to let you know that you can finally make your dream come true with the online-only Jones Halloween sodas. The soda company is known for making sodas with shocking flavors like bacon, turkey and gravy, and dirt, so I wouldn’t put it past them to make a soda that genuinely tasted like pee. But, don’t worry, that’s not what they did. For this Halloween, Jones Soda Co. released a limited edition trio of fruity flavors with creepy aliases: Zombie Juice (Green Apple), Blood Sucker (Strawberry-Lime), and the aforementioned Werewolf Piss (the new Orange Chocolate).
So, how are these spooky sodas? Should you try guzzling down some Zombie Juice? I snagged a few bottles to find out.
It smells like red. Don’t act like you don’t know what I mean when I say that—you’ve had Gatorade before. It smells almost like a melted Otter Pop. But it tastes somewhat better. You can definitely tell it’s trying to be strawberry.
Pros: The bubbles are great. They’re small and sharp and help create the illusion of acidity. It’s not as sweet as you would think from the aroma. If you are generally a fan of strawberry sodas, you will like this.
Cons: I wish there was more lime flavor. It’s supposed to taste like strawberry and lime, but I really only get that classic faux lime flavor. Yes, there is some acidity, but no actual lime flavor.
This vibrant green soda looks like it is going to taste like the sickly sweet drippings of a lollipop. But it is fantastically nuanced and has so much actual apple flavor. Color me impressed.
Pros: It tastes like a green apple Jolly Rancher and an actual green apple had a carbonated baby. It’s not too sweet at all. It’s tart and really, seriously tastes like apple. It’s one of the most unique fruit sodas I’ve ever had. I would highly recommend trying it.
Cons: It smells very artificial. But that really doesn’t come through when you take a sip.
First of all, let’s give credit for great branding. Werewolf Piss? So fun for Halloween! And the flavor really channels Halloween. It tastes like a straight up orange Tootsie Pop—a trick-or-treat classic.
Pros: If you love Tootsie Pops, then you’ll like the flavor of this orange-chocolate soda. It doesn’t taste like actual cocoa, but it really does taste like chocolate taffy. It’s a very fun flavor for Halloween—a good novelty soda to bust out.
Cons: I don’t think Tootsie Pop is actually a good flavor for a soda. Soda, to me, should be a balance between sugar and acidity. And Werewolf Piss just tastes sugary to me.
Along with bottling the Orange Chocolate flavor as Werewolf Piss, Jones Soda Co. is also selling Orange Chocolate on its own as a limited edition offering. And though it should, technically be exactly the same, it is not.
Pros: It’s a more orange color than Werewolf Piss, which is yellow. And it tastes more like orange, too. I thought, perhaps, I was being duped by the power of suggestion. But I confirmed with others that even if you didn’t look at the bottles, you could tell the difference in flavor. Orange Chocolate tastes like actual chocolatey orange rather than a Tootsie Pop.
Cons: I still don’t think the combination of orange and chocolate is good for a soda. But if you’re curious, I would recommend this version over Werewolf Piss (unless you’re only in it for the packaging, in which case Werewolf Piss will win every time).
Justine Sterling is the editor-in-chief of Sporked. She has been writing about food and beverages for well over a decade and is an avid at-home cook and snacker. Don’t worry, she’s not a food snob. Sure, she loves a fresh-shucked oyster. But she also will leap at whatever new product Reese’s releases and loves a Tostitos Hint of Lime, even if there is no actual lime in the ingredients.
Thoughts? Questions? Complete disagreement? Leave a comment!
Thoughts? Questions? Complete disagreement? Leave a comment!