Ever wanted to drink werewolf urine? I’m not here to kink shame. I’m here to let you know that you can finally make your dream come true with the online-only Jones Halloween sodas. The soda company is known for making sodas with shocking flavors like bacon, turkey and gravy, and dirt, so I wouldn’t put it past them to make a soda that genuinely tasted like pee. But, don’t worry, that’s not what they did. For this Halloween, Jones Soda Co. released a limited edition trio of fruity flavors with creepy aliases: Zombie Juice (Green Apple), Blood Sucker (Strawberry-Lime), and the aforementioned Werewolf Piss (the new Orange Chocolate).
So, how are these spooky sodas? Should you try guzzling down some Zombie Juice? I snagged a few bottles to find out.
- Blood Sucker (Strawberry-Lime)
It smells like red. Don’t act like you don’t know what I mean when I say that—you’ve had Gatorade before. It smells almost like a melted Otter Pop. But it tastes somewhat better. You can definitely tell it’s trying to be strawberry.
Pros: The bubbles are great. They’re small and sharp and help create the illusion of acidity. It’s not as sweet as you would think from the aroma. If you are generally a fan of strawberry sodas, you will like this.
Cons: I wish there was more lime flavor. It’s supposed to taste like strawberry and lime, but I really only get that classic faux lime flavor. Yes, there is some acidity, but no actual lime flavor.
Credit: Liv Averett / Jones Soda Co.
- Zombie Juice (Green Apple)
This vibrant green soda looks like it is going to taste like the sickly sweet drippings of a lollipop. But it is fantastically nuanced and has so much actual apple flavor. Color me impressed.
Pros: It tastes like a green apple Jolly Rancher and an actual green apple had a carbonated baby. It’s not too sweet at all. It’s tart and really, seriously tastes like apple. It’s one of the most unique fruit sodas I’ve ever had. I would highly recommend trying it.
Cons: It smells very artificial. But that really doesn’t come through when you take a sip.
Credit: Liv Averett / Jones Soda Co.
- Werewolf Piss (Orange Chocolate)
First of all, let’s give credit for great branding. Werewolf Piss? So fun for Halloween! And the flavor really channels Halloween. It tastes like a straight up orange Tootsie Pop—a trick-or-treat classic.
Pros: If you love Tootsie Pops, then you’ll like the flavor of this orange-chocolate soda. It doesn’t taste like actual cocoa, but it really does taste like chocolate taffy. It’s a very fun flavor for Halloween—a good novelty soda to bust out.
Cons: I don’t think Tootsie Pop is actually a good flavor for a soda. Soda, to me, should be a balance between sugar and acidity. And Werewolf Piss just tastes sugary to me.
Credit: Liv Averett / Jones Soda Co.
- Orange Chocolate
Along with bottling the Orange Chocolate flavor as Werewolf Piss, Jones Soda Co. is also selling Orange Chocolate on its own as a limited edition offering. And though it should, technically be exactly the same, it is not.
Pros: It’s a more orange color than Werewolf Piss, which is yellow. And it tastes more like orange, too. I thought, perhaps, I was being duped by the power of suggestion. But I confirmed with others that even if you didn’t look at the bottles, you could tell the difference in flavor. Orange Chocolate tastes like actual chocolatey orange rather than a Tootsie Pop.
Cons: I still don’t think the combination of orange and chocolate is good for a soda. But if you’re curious, I would recommend this version over Werewolf Piss (unless you’re only in it for the packaging, in which case Werewolf Piss will win every time).
Credit: Liv Averett / Jones Soda Co.
Thoughts? Questions? Complete disagreement? Leave a comment!