It is wrapped season folks. That time where we reflect on the year and ask ourselves the big questions like: “What part of my carefully cultivated hermit persona gave Spotify the idea that I was into ‘Pink Pilates Princess Roller Skating Pop’?” But we aren’t here to talk about my Spotify Wrapped because you don’t have three hours and, frankly, I’m too embarrassed. But I can definitively say that if Doritos had a Spotify Wrapped for 2024, their music evolution would have been “Spicy Rolled Flamin’ Hot Fiery Stick Surprise” all year round. All the new Doritos that came out this year were spicy (or at least purported to be), and four out of the six new items were rolled corn or crunchy sticks that were Takis-esque flavor bombs from their Dinamita line. In other words, Doritos brought the heat this yea—and for the most part, we were here for it. Let’s get rollin’!
- Doritos Baja Fiery Mango
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These, much like myself, were a disappointment. We had such high hopes for that combination of habanero and mango that so often blends beautifully, but this? This was like if a Fruit Roll-Up fell in some capsaicin and then got turned into a chip by its fairy godmother. That is to say, this new Doritos flavor was a bit too sweet for our tastes. Was it interesting? Oh, absolutely. Was it inspired by Baja Blast? Sort of. Was it delicious? That’s gonna be a habaner-no.
Read the full review of Doritos Baja Fiery Mango
- Doritos Dinamita Sticks Tangy Fiery Lime
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Now these are Dinamita Sticks, which if we had to describe the texture we’d say it’s sort of similar to Chester’s Hot Fries or slightly crispier Calbee Harvest Snaps. This new Doritos flavor is called Tangy Fiery Lime, but we thought these sticks tasted more like Lime-y Limier Lime. That is to say, these are intensely artificial lime-forward and only slightly spicy. But if you are a fiendón for the limón, we say go for it.
- Doritos Dinamita Sticks Smoky Chile Queso
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These Smoky Chile Queso Dinamita Sticks were just okay. They were not all that spicy and had a fake smoky flavor that Sporked editor-in-chief Justine Sterling said made them taste “old.” That said, if you really like artificial cheese flavor, you will probably love these. They were almost too cheesy for our taste, but hey—some would say there is no such thing and if you are one such person (like I am) you may not take issue with these.
- Doritos Dinamita Flamin Hot Queso
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These are the Taki-esque tortilla rolls we mentioned earlier, the same form factor as all the other Doritos Dinamita that are not of the “Sticks” variety. We liked these, as well. They essentially just taste like Nacho Cheese Doritos but spicy, and are distinctly spicier than Doritos Spicy Nachos. These were quite good, but they weren’t really groundbreaking like the next two, so we have them here at number three.
- Doritos Dinamita Sticks Hot Honey Mustard
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Hey whaddaya know, it’s more sticks. These have the tangy-sweet taste of honey mustard and that nasal clearing, brain tickling, eye watering type of heat wasabi has. These are great, and we liked them a whole lot.
- Doritos Flamin’ Hot Mystery Flavor
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Doritos finally released a mystery flavor flavor this year, and it didn’t disappoint. We loved the citrus-forward, chicken-y, curry flavor, and when Doritos eventually revealed the flavor to be Flamin’ Hot Thai Red Curry, everything finally made sense. Now, we wouldn’t say these Doritos were particularly Flamin’ Hot, but they were flavorful, complex, unique, and tasty, and sometimes that is all you need in a chip.
Thoughts? Questions? Complete disagreement? Leave a comment!