While the informal commemorative holiday May the Fourth is behind us, Disney’s Star Wars marketing engine never sleeps. Enter: Star Wars Oreo Cookies. These new Oreos each feature a red or blue creme infused with sugar crystals, which represent the “Kyber crystals” that give Star Wars’ most elegant weapons their signature colors (we all know about those, right?).
In addition to the special creme, each Oreo will feature one of 20 different Star Wars characters’ faces. This promotion actually marks a first for Oreo: both Light and Dark Side varieties of the classic Oreo cookie will be sold in identical packaging, meaning the consumer will only discover which variant they’ve bought once they get home and open the cookies! All that’s missing is some real-life blue milk for dipping.
Wait, they’re using gambling mechanics to sell Oreos?
In a technical sense, yes! There are 20 cookie-character designs total, split evenly between the Light and Dark Sides of the Force. If you’re trying to collect all 20 designs for some reason, every package of cookies you purchase will include half the total designs at most. You’ll only know which “side of the Force” you’ve purchased once you open the package and see the color of said Oreos’ creme. (I hope I don’t have to say this, but please don’t open packs of cookies you don’t intend on eating just to find a Yoda.)
Which of our epic childhood heroes made it onto the cookies?
The Light Side of the Cookie Force will feature the following characters: Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Han Solo, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda, Rey, Chewbacca, R2-D2, C-3PO, and Mace Windu. With no less than eight billion good guys in Star Wars canon, I can’t imagine the team working on this had an easy time picking the ten best characters to be immortalized in cookie form. Not to be inflammatory, but we definitely could have dropped Obi-Wan for Ahsoka, just saying.
Which bad guys can I eat on Oreos?
The packs of cookies you’ll feel slightly less bad about eating will feature the following characters: Darth Vader, Darth Maul, Darth Sidious, Kylo Ren, Boba Fett, Stormtrooper, Jabba the Hutt, General Grievous, Count Dooku, and Scout Trooper. This lineup almost has the opposite problem as the good guys: They had to bring in some real comparative unknowns to fill out all ten slots.
I probably should know who these Count Dooku and Darth Sidious guys are, but I’ve only seen five out of eleven theatrical Star Wars movies. Sue me. If I have to pick a sci-fi “Star ___,” I’m Team Trek.
I had no idea this was a thing this year unfortunately I wanted cookies that day they are the most vile thing I ever ate. Remember “ new coke” ? I was in HS at the time. It spread like wildfire across the Country. Call the number on the package notice there is no number ha ha joke is on you! Coke stopped giving out the coupon for a free 6 pack of whatever in a few weeks they had a perfect product at least before they started putting in chemicals GMOs and ground up bugs well at least it’s not Soylent Green eh YET
You didn’t give a date when they were coming out.
Should be the 30th of this month