If you keep up with our critically acclaimed, highly investigative, (somewhat) peer-reviewed food journalism, you may remember our excitement over these two new PB&J popcorn flavors from Smuckers, Jif, and SNAX-Sational Brands. Simply put, they promised us Smucker’s Uncrustables in popcorn form—a pitch so compelling, we couldn’t help but set our expectations sky high.
Seriously, it’s hard not to think these peanut butter popcorn flavors will be good when there’s A-list talent attached. I mean, c’mon, Jif peanut butter (the best peanut butter, in our opinion) mixed with sweet, nostalgic Smucker’s jelly? Produced by snack mogul SNAX-Sational? How could star power like that let this PB&J popcorn flop? It can’t. It won’t.
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But oh, it will. And my first clue should have been the alarming shade of purple “jelly” drizzled over the popcorn. It looks like some kind of ectoplasmic substance straight out of Ghostbusters. You can’t find that anywhere in nature. And I’m sorry to say, nothing about this tastes very natural, either.
Pros: If you’re an absolute freak for grape candy, you might think this is an interesting snack. The jelly drizzle reminds me of grape Nerds, but sweeter and more concentrated. And that’s about as nice as I can be here.
Cons: The grape is incredibly overpowering and cloying, and it hits on a delay, so you’re never quite prepared for what’s about to happen. There is virtually no peanut butter flavor to speak of—all you get is a bit of salty popcorn, and then wham, sticky corn syrup. This tastes nothing like Smucker’s grape jelly to me (our #2 best grape jelly, by the way). I simply want nothing to do with it.
Don’t worry, it’s not all bad news. I mean, please manage your expectations (something we failed to do), but know that strawberry PB&J popcorn is definitely an improvement.
Pros: The strawberry drizzle is much more muted, balanced, and pleasing—like actual jelly, and not straight sugar. The drizzle even has a creamy quality that matches the creaminess of the peanut butter—which, hey, you can actually taste! Hallelujah.
Cons: The popcorn itself isn’t the most fresh—but hey, bagged popcorn isn’t always the most crisp. While I’m grateful I can actually taste the PB&J, there’s plenty of ways this could have been improved. If they really wanted to lean syrupy-sweet, the texture could have mimicked caramel corn. Instead, these lack the crispness of fresh popcorn and the chewiness of caramel corn.
Ariana Losch is a Sporked contributor, webcomic writer, java junkie, and bad TV enthusiast. She only ever feels at peace laying out on a beach like a kebab, roasting in the sun; sadly, she can never move back to Florida, her home state, because there simply isn’t enough good Mediterranean food. You can find her overstaying her welcome at just about every LA coffee shop, working on a screenplay and avoiding all eye contact. (She is embarrassed to be there, please leave her alone.)
Thoughts? Questions? Complete disagreement? Leave a comment!
Thoughts? Questions? Complete disagreement? Leave a comment!