I’m gonna be honest: Uncrustables always seemed dumb to me. I don’t have kids, so I’m not packing a lunch for anyone but myself and I’ve never thought that making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich was much of a hassle (and I don’t mind eating bread crusts). I’m all for convenience, but a frozen, premade peanut butter and jelly sandwich seemed like a stretch. However, our taste test of Uncrustables flavors really changed things for me. Uncrustables are so good. I think about them literally all the time now—my intrusive thoughts are all like, “Don’t you wish you had a soft, squishy, perfect PB&J in the freezer right now?” And the answer is yes. Yes, I do.
The best Uncrustables flavors and fillings are a little predictable. The brand has taken some big swings lately, for instance when they made a foray into the world of savory sandwiches. I’ll get into all of this below, but when you’re looking for the best Uncrustables flavors, you should probably stick with the classics. Here are all the Uncrustable flavors, ranked from least good to most good.
- Uncrustables Uncured Ham & Cheddar Bites
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My colleague Jordan Myrick called these meat-filled Uncrustables “dark sided,” and I have to agree. First of all, one of the best things about Uncrustables is the soft, squishy white bread that encases the filling. Savory Uncrustables are little filled buns that are—hear me out—basically all crust. These Uncrustables are a lie! And Ham & Cheddar was the worst of them.
Credit: Merc / Smucker’s
- Uncrustables Turkey & Colby Jack Bites
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Turkey & Colby Jack Uncrustables are slightly less upsetting than Ham & Cheddar, but still not great. The filling reminds me of a gas station sandwich, which I actually kind of like in my own perverted way. Still, these suffer from the bread problem. I mean, I get it. Squishy white bread wouldn’t hold up to these fillings so they had to go with something more like a hamburger bun. Fine. But I still don’t think you should buy them. I’d take a gas station sandwich over this any day.
Credit: Merc / Smucker’s
- Uncrustables Peanut Butter & Honey Spread
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Honey “spread” is the operative word here. This Uncrustables flavor isn’t bad, but the honey doesn’t taste like good honey. It tastes like a synthetic honey-like substance. And, sadly, there is a lot of it in here. The honey spread consists of sugar, water, honey, and pectin—ideally, honey should be just one ingredient. If they ever retool these and make them with unadulterated honey, I’m in.
Credit: Merc / Smucker’s
- Uncrustables Reduced Sugar (Grape & Strawberry)
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Reduced sugar Uncrustables—which come in both grape and strawberry—are made with fruit “spread” rather than jelly or jam, and part of that sugar reduction seems to result from there being less of it. See, part of what makes regular Uncrustables so good is the peanut butter to jam/jelly ratio. And there is simply less jam/jelly in these, so they’re a little bit dryer. Reduced sugar Uncrustables are good if you really, really need to cut down your sugar intake. But if you’re just casually trying to be a little healthier, promise me you’ll say screw it and just eat a full sugar Uncrustable.
Credit: Merc / Smucker’s
- Uncrustables Chocolate Flavored Hazelnut Spread
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Honestly, this would be pretty hard to screw up: It’s nutty, chocolatey spread inside a squishy white bread pocket. And lots of it. It’s delicious. Jordan freaked for this. Would I ever eat this instead of a variety with jelly? No. But this is a pretty incredible snack or dessert to grab from the freezer before you run out the door.
Credit: Merc / Smucker’s
- Uncrustables Peanut Butter & Strawberry Jam
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If you’ve never looked at a bisected Uncrustables before, allow me to paint a picture for you: Inside the soft, soft bread (the bread is literally described as “soft bread” on the package), you’ll find two thin, perfectly uniform layers of peanut butter with a layer of jelly between them. They’re almost like sheets of peanut butter. Honestly, I was kind of stunned by the sheer beauty of it. Even though it’s a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, it feels well thought out. Like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that’s been optimized for ultimate enjoyability. The ratios are exquisite. The bread is slightly salty to further offset the sweetness of the ample jam/jelly layer. Unreal. Anyway, the two best Uncrustables flavors are Strawberry Jam and Grape Jelly. If you hate grape jelly, get strawberry jam. But …
Credit: Merc / Smucker’s
- Uncrustables Peanut Butter & Grape Jelly
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As my colleague Liv Averett put it, the Peanut Butter & Grape Jelly Uncrustables is “the girl.” She is it. The best of the best. Perfection in a plastic sleeve. I’ve eaten these both thawed and slightly frozen—and they’re exceptional either way. The peanut butter is flavorful and the grape jelly is, well, Smucker’s so it has to be good, as they say. I was dubious of Uncrustables going into this taste test, but I am a changed woman. Call Uncrustables dumb or lazy and catch these hands!!
Credit: Merc / Smucker’s
Uncrustables!
Uncrustables!
Uncrustables!
Uncrustables!
Uncrustables!
Uncrustables!
Uncrustables!
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