Pizza Hut Wants to Pay You $31,415 to Eat Crust

Unemployment is out of control, and Pizza Hut is here with a solution… for one of you. Someone out there on the internet is going to be paid tens of thousands of dollars to eat pizza crust. While I’m extraordinarily qualified to have opinions on pizza, Pizza Hut didn’t personally offer me this job before letting everyone in America apply for it. My hurt feelings are your opportunity, and we’ve got all the information you need to apply for this dream job. Let’s slice this mountain of news into handheld slices.

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What’s the job description?

To celebrate the brand’s three distinct crust options, Pizza Hut is seeking the first-ever Hut Crust Connoisseur. That lucky individual will be paid the extraordinarily specific Pi-based sum of $31,415.92 (plus free Pizza Hut for a year). The job isn’t all fun and pizza; it’s also business… and pizza. The Hut Crust Connoisseur will get to taste-test any new crust innovations from Pizza Hut. To apply, head to PizzaHutCrust.com and submit your review of any Pizza Hut pizza made with the chain’s new Hand-Tossed Crust recipe.

What’s Pizza Hut’s new crust all about?

This whole “Crust Connoisseur” promotion is all for one reason: Pizza Hut has a new crust. The brand’s classic Hand-Tossed crust recipe has been updated for the first time in over a decade. Per Pizza Hut themselves, this new recipe is lighter and balanced between softness and crispiness. In addition, there’s a brand-new “Garlic-Parm Hut Blend” in the recipe, which I presume is a seasoning blend that we’ll be getting our fingers absolutely covered in every time we handle a slice.

Are there any other high-paying taste-tester jobs I can apply for?

Yes! This is a pretty common way for food chains to get splashy headlines (just like the one you see above); this isn’t even the first major food brand to put out a public call for a well-paid taste-tester this month. Last week, Wendy’s announced they were seeking a Chief Tasting Officer with a compensation package including your own email address, no mandatory AI training, and plenty of free Wendy’s–oh, and $100,000. Take notes, Pizza Hut; math-based puns are fun, but rent is crazy these days.