On a February 2021 episode of Good Mythical Morning, Rhett & Link got us out of our Omicron-induced melon-choly by tasting and ranking watermelon-flavored snacks. Their goal was to determine which watermelon snacks taste the most like actual watermelon, and to bestow the title of Watermelon Brian on the watermeloniest one. They got their watermelon tryin’ palettes ready by tasting some real watermelon slices as a control and then hopped on in. Here’s their ranking, from best to worst.
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- Outshine Watermelon Fruit Bars
In terms of tasting like watermelon and actually tasting good, these frozen fruit bars were the belles of the melon ball. Rhett tried one of these popsicles and said, “Taste this, Link. I think we have a contender.” With an ingredient list that’s basically watermelon puree, sugar, and texture enhancers, it just makes sense. Outshine has almost perfectly captured the subtle flavor of actual watermelon. Link even added, “Outshine has outshined everything we’ve eaten so far.”
- Fit Fit Watermelon Chips
Link saw these and immediately said what we were all thinking: “This is…wild.” Rhett thought they looked like watermelon that had been left out in the sun, which isn’t too far from the truth—all that’s in the bag is a dried slice of watermelon in chip form. Weirdly, these chips are chewy instead of crunchy—Rhett described them as being like a Fruit Roll-Up—and Link thought they tasted “rotten.” Both R&L pretty much hated these, but they scored points because they do technically taste like watermelon.
- Sun-Maid Sour Watermelon Fruity Raisin Snacks
Yes, Sun-Maid makes sour watermelon-flavored golden raisins. Rhett & Link were pretty confused by these, but they did like them a lot! The raisins taste sour first, then like watermelon, then like grapes (or raisins). But even though these were a fun time, they got a middle-of-the-road score for genuine watermelon flavor.
- Haribo Watermelon
Rhett pointed out that these gummy candies “look like watermelon, with the rind and all.” The green part has an almost a marshmallowy consistency, while the red part is a more standard gummy. They have watermelon flavor flavor, not watermelon flavor, but both Rhett & Link liked them.
- Colgate Watermelon Burst Toothpaste
After describing their college experience of shooting barbecue sauce-smelling air at people in a local restaurant and attempting the same thing with these tubes of toothpaste, Rhett & Link began to cleanse their mouths. Rhett immediately got a burst of watermelon flavor flavor, not real watermelon flavor, and pointed out that it was like “that fluoride treatment at the dentist.” This toothpaste made Link wonder whether people even like watermelon enough to use this kind of toothpaste—he thought it was pretty nasty.
- Capri Sun Watermelon
Rhett pointed out that Capri Sun Watermelon is “100% juice, but not 100% watermelon juice.” These little packets also contain grape juice, apple juice, and citric acid. While they do have watermelon juice concentrate, R&L were struggling to detect any hint of watermelon flavor in there. And even after a minute and a half of shaking a packet, it unfortunately just tasted like grape/apple juice. Link even went as far as to say, “This has not a hint of watermelon.”