When you think of Ritz Crackers, you probably think of the classic original version, champion of your grandma’s dinner parties and still the only socially acceptable way to put half a stick of butter directly into your mouth. (And one of the best crackers, according to our taste test.) But while the original Ritz still gets the most attention, Nabisco also offers a range of flavored Ritz crackers, featuring savory delights like Roasted Vegetable, Honey Wheat, and Garlic Butter. But we think they can still do better, and there are a ton of flavors that we think would compliment Nabisco’s round-butter-delivery system. So, here’s eight flavored Ritz Crackers that should exist.
- Boursin Cheese
If there’s one thing that the buttery goodness of Ritz can always use, it’s cheese. (Check out our ideal cracker and cheese pairings for proof.) So why not combine it with creamy, tangy Boursin, already one of the best cracker toppings in the world? And while Boursin itself has a range of flavors, we’re talking about the original Garlic & Fine Herbs version, although the Fig & Balsamic flavor is very tempting. And with cheese in the cracker, the top is free to add even more cheese, until it’s “Boursin at the seams!” (I’ll see myself out now.)
- Sour Cream & Onion
While Ritz offers a Sour Cream & Onion option in their line of toasted chips, can you imagine how amazing the creamy tartness of sour cream and sharp tang of onion would be in an actual cracker? It would fill your mouth with delicious confusion. Am I eating a chip or a cracker? Either way, I bet you can’t eat just one.
What goes better with butter than corn? And nothing shows that better than Mexican street corn, with its unique blend of crema, chili powder, cotija cheese, and lime flavors. It’s a tangy and spicy mix that cries out to be on every street and every store shelf!
- Sage & Brown Butter
With a name like “Ritz,” sometimes you have to get a little fancy. And you don’t get any fancier than this classic French flavor, with its delicious nutty, caramel taste that we think would be perfect for canapes or just sitting on the couch and shoving a whole sleeve of crackers into your mouth. And you’ve got to love the versatility of a flavor that would pair perfectly with both delicately roasted butternut squash and a 99-cent can of Cheez Whiz. (Am I revealing too much about my dinner parties?)
- Toasted Sesame Seed
The latest Ritz Toasted Chip flavor to hit shelves is Toasted Everything, an homage to everything bagels featuring onion, garlic and toasted poppy seeds. But it’s missing one of the best ingredients: toasted sesame seeds! And we think that flavor is great enough to carry its own cracker, adding a sweet, nutty taste that would perfectly compliment that buttery Ritz flavor. And honestly, we hope Ritz adds it to those everything seasoning flavored chips, too. At the very least, they should change the name to “Toasted Almost Everything.”
- Baked Potato
Baked potatoes are wonderful, but they take forever. Who’s got time to do all those steps? Buying potatoes, preheating the oven, entirely giving up on cooking and just going to the nearest Wendy’s… It’s a real hassle. So, why not get your baked potato in cracker form? We can all agree the best part of a baked potato is covering it with an obscene amount of butter. And isn’t that the reason Ritz Crackers exist?
- Rosemary & Olive
Another upscale flavor, this blend would pack all the savory delights of focaccia bread into concentrated cracker goodness. We think it would go great with prosciutto, salami, or just hiding in your coat pocket during a trip to an upscale restaurant so you don’t starve to death as you wonder why it takes two hours to make a bowl of spaghetti.
- Maple Butter
What’s to explain? Maple’s great. Butter’s great. And Maple Butter would be just the sweet and salty mix that Ritz would need to finally straddle the line between snack food and dessert. Imagine a Ritz cracker you could crumble on a sundae! Or dip in chocolate sauce! Or frosting! This needs to happen. And I’ll get right on it, as soon as I figure out how to get a pint of drool out of my keyboard.