We have seen a lot of Super Mario Bros. content this year. More than is typical. We got an animated movie with Chris Pratt, Jack Black, and a song about a certain special stone fruit that will live rent free in our heads forever. We also got that insane The Last of Us / Mario Kart SNL parody that, sadly, I would unironically watch if HBO (excuse me, MAX) made it into a thing. But my poor taste in TV show video game adaptations aside, I am stoked y’all. We are getting another piece of Mario-themed art from big daddy Nintendo and this time, it’s edible. That’s right, we’re getting Super Mario Oreos (which does mean I was wrong again about the next Oreo to be released, we don’t need to talk about it right now). If you are at all curious about what the heck these things are, I am too, so let’s-a-go find out!
What are these Super Mario Oreos? Why didn’t they call them Super Moreos? If you jump up and punch the package from the bottom, does a giant Oreo pop out the top?
Well, it would seem that these will be typical Oreo cookies but with one notable difference: they will be embossed with Super Mario characters instead of that iconic Oreo drip we all know and love. Now you may be thinking, “Great, I can get Oreos with an overalls-wearing plumber’s face on them, whoopdee frickin’ doo” and to that I would say, where is your sense of whimsy, my guy? These things are going to have not one, not two, but 16 “unique embossments,” including but not limited to “Super Mario characters and Power-ups, such as iconic heroes Mario and Luigi, a Super Star, and enemies like a Goomba and Bowser Jr.” The packs will be filled randomly according to the press release, so you may not get every character in every pack if you are looking to—to quote another iconic nerd franchise—“catch ‘em all.” Oreo and Nintendo have also suggested that consumers (that’s-a-us) defeat Bowser by (and this is actually in the press release I’m not just making this up because I am such a chaotic icon) putting his cookie on the edge of a glass of milk and stacking other cookies on him till they all fall in and then posting a video of that on social. I –
Listen, as someone who has been in marketing, I could tell that one was a struggle to come up with. But they did it! And I’m proud of them.
And if you are proud of them too and want to get your hands on some of these iconic Super Mario Oreo cookies and “Collect Cookies! Save the Kingdom!” as it says on the packaging, then you can pre-order them now on the Oreo’s website or get them at stores nationwide starting on July 10, when they will be around for a limited time only. So go grab some when you can, because as the aforementioned plumber likes to say, it’s “Mario time!”