With fall just around the corner, fall flavors are naturally starting to pop up on grocery store shelves. Flavors like apple cinnamon, pumpkin spice, and…hamburger and hot dog? That’s right, my dudes, this year Brach’s, the company whose name is synonymous with candy corn, released a tailgate-themed candy corn mix.
Yes, I am talking about tailgating, the event before (and after) the sportsball game where you drink brewskis with the bois and eat hot dogs with the bois and eat hamburgers (also with the bois). So how did Brach’s make a candy variety pack out of this? What candy-consuming child knows anything about tailgating? I know some adults eat candy corn but does that slice of adults overlap with the tailgating slice of adults in the big Venn diagram of human behavior? Also, how can you get enough candy flavors out of an event that typically consists of grilled meats, chips, and beer?
Well, according to Brach’s, you just produce some meat-flavored candies. Don’t worry, not all of the flavors in the mix contain the essence of grilled meat. There’s also fruit punch, vanilla ice cream, and popcorn, which sound relatively normal. But the pack does in fact contain both hamburger- and hot dog-flavored candy corn, and, honestly, I’m at a loss for words. This isn’t Brach’s first savory-food-flavored-candy rodeo. In the past they’ve released Taco Truck jelly beans (which the Sporked team tasted back in March) and Turkey Dinner candy corn. But I have to wonder, will these meat flavored candies actually taste good? If so, how?
Maybe this this a Bertie Botts Every Flavored Beans situation where you just use the more colorful flavors to prank all of your friends and save the fruit punch and vanilla ice cream ones for yourself. Not that I did that. I was a nice child, of course…I feel like you don’t believe me but that’s okay. Regardless, adult me would happily choose the meat-flavored candy corn over the regular flavors. Not because I think they will be good, oh no, not that. No, I want to try these simply because they must have made it through some sort of consumer testing, and I really want to taste the exact point where Brach’s said, “Okay, this is good enough, people will probably just avoid these flavors anyway.” So, catch me at Walgreens (where these are exclusively sold) cracking open a bag of Tailgate Brach’s candy corn with the bois.