Buttermilk, onion, sugar, and vegetable oil: These are just some of the ingredients in both Campbell’s Homestyle New England Clam Chowder and Hidden Valley’s Original Ranch. And yet, while the contents of both products are eerily similar, it is only socially acceptable to ladle the clam chowder into a bowl and eat it by the spoonful. If I do the same with the ranch dressing, I am seen as some kind of senseless, no-taste monster. I believe that we should be eating sauce like soup.
I’m here to ask, “Why?” Why can’t sauces, spreads, and dips also be soup? What makes clam chowder more of a soup than ranch dressing? I know good and well that clams alone do not a soup make. So, I turned to Google to find out what makes soup soup. The Cambridge Dictionary describes it as “a usually hot, liquid food made from vegetables, meat, or fish.” Find me a sauce that doesn’t fit that description, and I will apologize for writing this article. I’ll even let you ice me with a room temp can of Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom.
There is no inherent benefit in eating soup over sauce. Progresso’s Loaded Baked Potato with Bacon is higher in fat, calories, and cholesterol than French’s Classic Yellow Mustard. Amy’s Organic Chunky Tomato Bisque is essentially Rao’s Marinara Sauce with different branding. And I can tell you from experience that dipping a big piece of crusty bread into a hot mug of Tostitos Salsa Con Queso is just as delicious as Panera’s pre-packaged Broccoli Cheddar. Be honest with yourself: Are you sure you don’t want to eat sauce like soup or are you just bound by the laws of polite society, which dictate that one should not eat a bowl full of sauce?
If you are ready to put down your walls and dip into eating sauce like soup, here are my top recommendations.
Sauces You Should Be Eating Like Soup:
- Bertolli Vodka Sauce
Microwave Bertolli Vodka Sauce for a tasty and effortless cheesy tomato bisque. Dunk in some toasty garlic bread or top it with a few of the viral TikTok pasta chips. Perfection!
- Trader Joe’s Buffalo Chicken Dip
Cold or hot, the Trader Joe’s Buffalo Chicken Dip is best eaten by the spoonful. It’s creamy, lightly spicy, and hearty. Dice up a little celery and/or carrot to sprinkle on top. This is a soup.
- La Mexicana Medium Salsa
This is the Mexican-inspired gazpacho of your dreams. Grab a spoon and you have lunch on a hot summer day.
- Maya Kaimal Coconut Korma Simmer Sauce
More than anything else, this is a sauce we should be eating like soup. Pour yourself a big, hot bowl of this Coconut Korma Simmer Sauce and enjoy with warm naan or kulcha for dipping (preferably Haldiram’s from the frozen section).
- Wafu Carrot Ginger Japanese Style Salad Dressing
Every single time I have a side salad at a Japanese restaurant covered in fresh, tangy carrot ginger dressing, I think, “Wow. I could drink this.” So I did! An oversized mugful of this carrot ginger dressing with a scoop of hot rice is, in fact, very good.
Listen, I’m not saying I am going to invite you over for a bowl of Frank’s RedHot Wing Sauce, or even that sauces, dips, and spreads are better soup than soup itself. I am, however, saying that I should be able to pour myself a full, meal-sized serving of sauce without judgment, and so should you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a crockpot of Sweet Baby Ray’s Chicken Sauce that needs tending.