This Giant 7-Eleven Slurpee Was Literally Too Big For A Straw

America just celebrated its 250th birthday. We know that because most of our teeth are blue now and some of us are waking up with mysterious smears of hot dog relish on our clothes. 

Videos by Sporked

But there’s another important American birthday coming up. It’s hard to believe, but 7-Eleven is turning 60. Yes, that’s right. America’s favorite late-night haven, where we go for everything from scratch-off lotto, to a single roll of toilet paper, to the comforting hum of those perpetually rotating hot dogs is 60 years old. And, because this is America, of course they’re celebrating with a giant Slurpee. 

Too Much To Slurp?

We already knew 7-Eleven was growing up. Quite a few changes have happened over the last few months. They’ve added sandwiches, they’ve given much-needed discounts on gasoline, and this coming July 11th, they’re even going to help re-energize our dating lives. And of course, they’re celebrating the annual “7-11” holiday by giving out free small Slurpees.

So we already know that when 7-Eleven celebrates, they do so via Slurpee. We just weren’t expecting a Slurpee so very, very big. This drink is practically a mini baseball bat of up to 16.5 inches tall. As in one video from WallStreetApes, the Slushee in question was so large that most straws weren’t capable of handling this sugary giant. 7-Eleven locations were reportedly even running out of their XL straws―and customers struggled to find another straw capable of taking down a drink of this size.

Fan opinions were mixed. While some needed their own giant beverage immediately, others pointed out that a Slurpee of this size would easily contain over 250g of sugar. And while it’s unclear if humans are really meant to drink so much liquid at once, Sporked certainly isn’t here to judge. Do your thing. Find your joy. Drink that giant Slurpee.

Where To Get One

It’s exciting, and glycemic, stuff. But before you Google “remedies for brain freeze” and make an advanced appointment with your dentist, FYI: not all 7-Elevens have this super Slurpee. And prices vary―anywhere from $3.99 to $6.99, based on size and location. And we’re guessing if you’re getting close to two feet of churned, icy, liquid Americana, you’ll be closer to that $6.99 number.

We’re not going to calculate ounces, or inches, of Slurpee per dollar, but that still seems like a good deal. You’ll just need to find a straw big enough to conquer this Slurpee of Extraordinary Size.