We Have Bad News About Trader Joe’s Crunchy Pops

I give Trader Joe’s a lot of crap, but even I have to admit that they carry an impressive array of chips and snacks. Their dill pickle chips are some of the best you’ll find outside of the Midwest, and their knockoff Doritos and Cheetos are enjoyable, even if they don’t quite live up to their respective inspirations. What I’m saying is that I was open to really liking new Trader Joe’s new Crunchy Pops.

There’s a lot to unpack in the brand’s description of the product. Truly, I’ve never seen anyone toot their own horn as hard as the copywriter who wrote this blurb for Trader Joe’s. Comparing Snack Pops to the Pyramids of Giza is certainly a choice I don’t think I’d have the courage to make. They focus so intently on the design of these little snack morsels that they fail to discuss biggest concern going into it: Why the hell are peas here? It’s one thing if you want to make a healthy chip, but loading these up with olive oil and salt seems counterproductive if that was the goal.

Okay, I’ll concede that Crunchy Pops have a cool design. Groundbreaking? Earth shattering? Hardly. But the lattice construction is attractive, if oddly familiar. It looks like Trader Joe’s took a piece of Crispix cereal and gave it a BBL. These morsels are just a little thicker than the aforementioned cereal. Trader Joe’s really emphasizes that Crunch Pops are an airy, puffy snack. I must have gotten a bad batch because mine were anything but. I think of Cheetos Puffs as airy; these Pops are dense and brittle. At the end of the day, these just taste like extremely salty veggie straws

New Product!

Trader Joe’s Crunchy Pops

Trader Joe’s

Pros: I (clearly) don’t love Trader Joe’s Crunchy Pops, but they are easy to mindlessly munch on. The crunch is doing a lot of heavy lifting with these things. It distracts your brain from the taste of peas just long enough to get through a few before you again remember how bad the peas make them taste. I think you could toss these on the snack table at a football watch party and your guests would eat some out of sheer curiosity. Plus, they’re vaguely football shaped, so they’ll fit the theme. I don’t think that was TJ’s intent, but hey, I’m just coming up with pros here.

Cons: There’s just too much salt on these things. It’s powdery and it finds its may into every nook and cranny of the lattice. Every Pop is mouth-puckeringly salty. And once you get past the salty coating, you’re hit with a punch of prominent pea flavor. Have you ever tried to trick yourself into eating peas by mixing them into a bowl of mashed potatoes only to find out that the peas do not, in fact, get lost in the sauce? That’s what it’s like to eat Trader Joe’s Crunchy Pops.

Rating:

3/10

Sporks