It’s summertime, it’s hotter than hell outside, and that means we are all looking for excuses to consume as much ice cream as possible, whether it’s in a cone or plopped in a mug of soda. When it comes to the latter, there are all sorts of fun ice cream float combos, but nothing can really beat the classic: root beer served with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. A good root beer float is spicy and complex, but creamy and comforting at the same time. The vanilla ice cream smooths out the more aggressive aspects of root beer’s flavor profile and the carbonation cuts the richness of the ice cream. It’s a beautiful thing. So beautiful, in fact, that Trader Joe’s went ahead and put it on a stick for maximum convenience and portability. We tried their new Root Beer Float Bars to find out whether the classic concoction works in popsicle form.
Here’s what I’ll say about these frozen dessert bars: excellent concept, decent execution. The root beer-flavored ice that surrounds the vanilla ice cream center is very, very sweet. It’s so sweet that it almost tastes like a diet root beer sweetened with something like stevia. I also didn’t love that when I took my first bite, I didn’t get any vanilla ice cream. It took two bites to make it to the ice cream center, which I’m pleased to report is very, very good—nice and creamy and flavorful.
All in all, I think you’d be better off springing for some of the best vanilla ice cream and the best root beer and enjoying this classic dessert sans stick. I ate the whole thing, but I wouldn’t go back for seconds.
Howdy! I’m Gwynedd, Sporked’s managing editor. I live in Los Angeles and have access to the best tacos the U.S. has to offer—but I’m a sucker for a crunchy Old El Paso taco night every now and then. I’ve been at Sporked since 2022 and I’m still searching frozen mozzarella sticks that can hold a candle to restaurant sticks.
Why you should trust me: I’ve been a journalist for 20 years (yikes), a consumer of food for 40-plus years, and I’m truly hard pressed to think of foods I don’t like (or that I can’t tolerate at the very least). Oh and one time I cooked my way through Guy Fieri’s cookbook and wrote about the journey through Flavortown.
What I buy every week: Trader Joe’s Original Savory Thins. Fat free plain yogurt (usually Fage or Nancy’s). Honeycrisp apples. Sweet cream coffee creamer for my at-home Americanos. A frozen cauliflower crust pizza and some jarred mushrooms to top it with. Old El Paso Stand ‘N Stuff taco shells and Gardein Ground Be’f, even though I think “be’f” is a nightmarish contraction.
Favorite ranking: Stouffer’s frozen dinners. I don’t own a microwave (I get my cancers the old fashioned way!), so I love taste testing things that I don’t really buy to eat at home.
Least favorite ranking: Soy sauce. Don’t get me wrong, I love soy sauce—but consuming that much sodium in one sitting is probably illegal in some countries. Our frozen enchilada taste test was a close second; the smell of microwaved corn tortillas still haunts me.
Thoughts? Questions? Complete disagreement? Leave a comment!
Gwynedd Stuart
Joe Rumrill
Jordan Myrick
Ariana Losch
Thoughts? Questions? Complete disagreement? Leave a comment!