What I’d Feed to the Barbie Cast

If you are alive and on planet Earth, you have heard about Greta Gerwig’s Barbie, starring some of Hollywood’s biggest celebs, including Margot Robbie in the lead role of Barbie. Obviously I’m seeing it opening night and obviously I have already thought about what delicious Sporked-approved food I’d feed to the cast if we all had a slumber party in the Barbie dream house. I’m Sporked senior staff writer Barbie.

Margot Robbie (Barbie): Bushwick Kitchen Bees Knees Spicy Honey

Margot Robbie seems super sweet and is incredibly hot so I’m feeding her some of this Bushwick Kitchen Bees Knees Spicy Honey. It’s our favorite hot honey and it totally suits her. I’d drizzle it over a delicious pizza and, hopefully, she’d let me share it with her…maybe on a date?

Ryan Gosling (Ken): Patti’s Good Life Mac & Cheese

Barbie is the entree and Ken is the side dish. Plus, Ryan Gosling is rich and dreamy. That’s why I’m feeding him my favorite side dish I’ve tasted while working at Sporked, the Patti LaBelle frozen mac and cheese. Ryan may seem boring on the outside, but he’s actually really wonderful and impressive, much like this frozen side.

Hari Nef (Barbie): Casa Sanchez Taqueria Style Avocado Salsa

Hari Nef is an actress, model, writer, and activist. Much like Barbie, she can do anything! She’s also opening doors for the LGBTQ+ community because she is the first trans woman to ever sign with IMG Worldwide, the world’s most famous modeling agency. Because Hari is perfect and groundbreaking, I’m giving her some Casa Sanchez Taqueria Style Avocado salsa and tortilla chips as a snack. Not only did we give this avocado salsa a perfect 10/10 sporks, it was also groundbreaking to us how much better avocado salsa is than store bought guacamole.

Ncuti Gatwa (Ken): Liquid Death Grim Leafer

Ncuti Gatwa is a real up-and-coming talent. You might not immediately recognize his name, but you’ll be hearing it everywhere soon. He starred in the popular Netflix series Sex Education, plays one of the Kens in the new Barbie movie, and has recently been named as the newest Doctor Who. Liquid Death is an up-and-coming company that burst onto the scene and is now everywhere. Their Grim Leafer tea with agave is our favorite Liquid Death flavor, plus Ncuti could use the extra caffeine for all the work he has coming in the near future!

Michael Cera (Allan): Peanut Butter & Grape Jelly Uncrustables

Michael Cera has literally not aged a day since his early years as a child actor. Because of that, he’s getting Peanut Butter & Grape Jelly Uncrustables. They might seem a little youthful, but they’re actually very mature and delicious. We see you, Mr. Cera.

America Ferrera (Gloria): DiGiorno Stuffed Crust Five Cheese

America Ferrera is one of the hardest working people in Hollywood and has been forever. She’s so talented and smart. I’m feeding her a DiGiorno Stuffed Crust Five Cheese Pizza because it’s our favorite frozen cheese pizza and that’s what she deserves. DiGiorno ranks high in every single pizza taste test we do. If you see the DiGiorno name, buy it. It will be good. America is the same way. If you see a movie or TV show with her in it: See it! It will be good.

About the Author

Jordan Myrick

Jordan is an L.A.-based writer and comedian who believes all food should come with extra sauce. When they're not writing for Sporked, Jordan is at the movies or sharing an order of french fries with their elderly chihuahua.

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