There are few things I find more stressful than, a.) opening gifts in front of people, and, b.) taking things away from people I like. But my love of free stuff outweighs my hatred of awkward social situations, so every year I get roped into a different White Elephant gift exchange and every year my friendships are once again tested. White Elephant is a social minefield that I somehow keep signing up to frolic through and since I’m not changing any time soon and I’m sure you aren’t either, here are some easy food gifts to wrap up for your friend group’s White Elephant this year, from yum yum to “Jessica, why did you bring shredded cheese again?”
- Terry’s Chocolate Orange
This one is just a banger. Literally. Because you bang it on the table (although my roommate just informed me that not everyone does this…I feel like they’re wrong though, so tell me I’m right in the comments). Method of consumption aside, Terry just knows how to make a chocolate orange. It’s rich, it’s dark, it’s wrapped in gold foil, and it is just kooky enough of a gift that it still belongs on the White Elephant table. Bring this if you want your gift to get stolen the maximum number of times.
- Tillamook Farmstyle Thick Cut Mozzarella Cheese
So funny. So utilitarian. Just weird enough to be not universally desirable but not so weird that it’s mean. Especially if you get this shredded Mozzarella, which the Sporked team described this as “thick, coarsely cut mozzarella ribbons, not tiny-ass feeble strands that get stuck together in the bag.” This is snackin’ mozzarella, baybee! But it is certainly not a one-trick cheese pony, it also melts wonderfully. This is a choice you may have to defend, but defend it well and by the end of the night someone is going to want this cheese, or if not, either way, someone will have it.
- Star Wars PEZ
Cute? Check. Tasty? Check. Zany? You betcha. We are all adults here. We can admit now that PEZ is not only fantastic tasting but also gosh darn mesmerizing. And Star Wars PEZ is a good choice because if there are any Star Wars fans in the room, they will steal this, and if a non-Star Wars fan ends up with it then at the very least they’ve got a bunch of sweet, tangy, chalky, delicious PEZ to get them through the harsh winter months. Win-win!
- Trader Joe’s English Toffee With Nuts
I mean, this is just good. Whichever one of your friends gets this may not know it right when they open it, but they just got super lucky and will 1000% appreciate this gift an hour later when they open it on the ride home and realize they now have a whole tin of sweet, salty, nutty, chocolatey toffee to enjoy for the rest of December (or really the rest of this car ride, lets be real).
- Honey Nut Cheerios
This one is just practical—they will be eating breakfast at one point or another, will they not? Why not have it be Honey Nut Cheerios? And why not these specific Cheerios they randomly won in a White Elephant exchange? Plus they make for a great topic of conversation at the breakfast table because this is, as it turns out, not how most people acquire their Honey Nut Cheerios.
- 12 Blue Raspberry Candy Canes in a Jar
I mean, come on. This is objectively the best flavor of any candy so I don’t know why anyone wouldn’t be thrilled to receive this. Me personally? I’d be positively chuffed. But these really do fit the White Elephant brief since some people admittedly would not want these, some would, and most would take one look at them and wonder, “Why?” And that is the beautiful thing about White Elephant, isn’t it? It gets people asking the big questions. And leaves them with way too many novelty candy canes.