The best non carbonated alcoholic drinks in a can will give you a buzz without giving you the burps. Yes, fizz can be refreshing, but it can also fill you up too fast and give you a stomachache when all you want to do is throw back a few grownup drinks. If you’re looking for some fun but you want it to be flat, you’re in luck. We’ve taste tasted and ranked a lot of canned booze here at Sporked—canned cocktails, hard tea, canned wine, and more. If you’re avoiding bubbles, this is the list for you. So let’s raise a glass to some sips without the suds. These are the best non carbonated alcoholic drinks we’ve tried in our taste tests.
- Arnold Palmer Spiked Original Half Iced Tea & Half Lemonade
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Traditionally, iced tea isn’t carbonated. Oddly, a lot of hard teas we tried were fizzy. Even more odd? A lot of them don’t taste a lick like tea! This boozy Arnold Palmer was a standout because it’s not carbonated and it actually tastes like tea—nicely brewed black tea mixed with tart, tangy lemonade. Seriously, if you’re looking for something refreshing for summer, this is one of the best non carbonated alcoholic drinks you can buy.
Read the full ranking of the best hard tea
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- Cutwater White Russian
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If you want to kick back with a White Russian like Jeffrey Lebowski, but you don’t keep Kahlua or heavy cream on hand, Cutwater’s White Russian is a revelation. When we ranked all the Cutwater canned cocktails, we weren’t expecting to love this as much as we did, but it turns out it’s one of the best non carbonated canned drinks you can buy. It’s creamy, boozy, and sweet, without being cloying. Spark up a J and grab a can of this before you head to the bowling alley.
Read the full ranking of the best Cutwater cocktails
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- Margaritaville Golden Margarita
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Okay, okay. This premixed Margarita isn’t one of the best non carbonated alcoholic drinks in a can because it doesn’t come in a can, but it still deserves a place on this list because so many canned Margaritas come carbonated! Go ahead and fill an aluminum water bottle with this chuggable, nostalgic Margarita and—voila!—you basically have a canned cocktail.
Read the full ranking of the best canned Margaritas
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- Golden Rule Tini’s Midnight Lounge Espresso Martini
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When it comes to ABV, not all canned cocktails pack a punch, but this Espresso Martini isn’t screwing around. Yes, it comes in a teeny-tiny can but that is because it’s an impressive 24% ABV—and did we mention it’s delicious? Truly, this canned drink tastes better than what a lot of bartenders can pull off, especially if they don’t have an espresso machine at their disposal. It’s sweet, boozy, and fresh tasting, with a pop of citrus zest for interest. Best part? Not a bubble in sight. It’s the best canned Espresso Martini we found in our taste test, and it’s one of the best non carbonated alcoholic drinks in a can, period.
Read the full ranking of the best canned Espresso Martinis
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- Cutwater Tiki Rum Mai Tai
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If you’re a Mai Tai purist who lives and dies by Trader Vic’s version, you should probably move on to some of the other best non carbonated alcoholic drinks on this list. But if you’re in the mood for something sweet, punchy, tropical, and fizz free, this is a great canned cocktail. It’s made with two types of rum, so it’s fruity and flavorful but it’s also boozy as all get out, just like a good Mai Tai should be. Pack a cooler with these for your next trip to the beach and you won’t be bummed.
Read the full ranking of the best rum cocktails
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- Hotchstadter’s Slow & Low Rock & Rye
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You know how they say good things come in small packages? Well, it’s a dumb cliché, but it really rings true in this case. This tiny canned cocktail is for true whiskey lovers. The Rock & Rye is a pretty simple concoction that contains rye whiskey, rock candy, honey, navel oranges, and Angostura bitters, but it’s a classic for a reason. Pour this over ice or drink it straight from the can—there’s no fizz so you can enjoy it now without the agita later.
Read the full ranking of the best canned whiskey cocktails
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- Cutwater Spicy Bloody Mary
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Cutwater discontinued its classic Bloody Mary (booo!), but the spicy version is one of the best non carbonated alcoholic drinks for people who can handle the heat. Be forewarned: This thing is seriously spicy! But it’s also beautifully balanced and delightful to drink. No more wasting time mixing Bloodies at brunch—just grab a pack of these cans instead.
Read the full ranking of the best Cutwater cocktails
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- Underwood Pinot Noir
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Canned wine gets a bad rap, but we’re here to set the record straight: Underwood is good, this Pinot Noir in particular. If you like mineral-forward red wines that are best served chilled, you’ll dig this. It’s redolent of stone fruit and wet stone—for a red, it’s highly refreshing. Again, a lot of canned wine is carbonated, but this stands out as one of the best non carbonated alcoholic drinks in a can.
Read the full ranking of the best canned wine
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- Underwood Pinot Gris
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If white wine is more your style, this is the way to go. Again, Underwood just gets canned wine. This one is fruity, flinty, and refreshing. Even though you’ll certainly drink it cold, it’s the perfect wine for a brisk fall day. Set aside those sparkling whites—this is the perfect smooth-drinking alternative.
Read the full ranking of the best canned wine
Credit: Merc / Total Wine
Best Hard Tea
Rating:
9/10
Sporks
Best Creamy Cocktail
Rating:
9/10
Sporks
Best Margarita
Rating:
7.5/10
Sporks
Best Espresso Martini
Rating:
10/10
Sporks
Best Rum Cocktail
Rating:
8/10
Sporks
Best Whiskey Cocktail
Rating:
9/10
Sporks
Best Bloody Mary
Rating:
8/10
Sporks
Best Canned Red Wine
Rating:
9/10
Sporks
Best Canned White Wine
Rating:
8.5/10
Sporks
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