Top of the morning, and happy birthday to me, because today I got to try the new General Mills Birthday Cake Loaded Cereal. Loaded what, you ask? Loaded version of another cereal? No, and I was confused about this too, the name of the cereal is just “Loaded” and this is the new Birthday Cake flavor. Other existing flavors include Cocoa Puffs Loaded, Cinnamon Toast Crunch Loaded, and Trix Loaded, but I must confess I haven’t tried the others.
As for what they look like, they are filled pillow-shaped wheat puffs (General Mills’ answer to Kellogg’s Krave Cereal) that all supposedly have the same vanilla crème filling, so I set out to try these particular pillow-shaped puffs to see if, a.) they taste like cake, and b.) they specifically taste like cake used to mark the passage of time in a person’s life. Read on to find out if this cereal was in fact a “loaded happy birthday to me cereal” or a whole load of “not-so-great.”
Pros: These things look like Krave but dusted in pink, and they smell like Cookie Crisp Cereal. After trying some dry, however, they immediately registered as something else: cotton candy. They have a distinct hint of fruitiness to them that reminds me of pink cotton candy or red Twizzlers, specifically the Twizzlers you get in the little packets on Halloween. The texture is similar to Krave—a bit less crispy than a Cocoa Puff but somewhat similar to a cheese puff or a Quadratini in texture. The frosting has a texture reminiscent of Oreo crème, but it did not taste specifically vanilla-y to me or really different from the outside shell at all. Surprisingly, they are sweet but not too sweet, and the texture with milk is fantastic, but only for a few minutes before they get on the train to Sogville and never come back. All in all, not as obnoxious as a birthday cake Oreos’ extremely overpowering birthday cake flavor and overall not bad! I kept eating it, so that’s something.
Cons: The biggest con of Birthday Cake Loaded cereal is the waxy film coating my mouth after eating them. It went away quickly but it was the kind of film you get after eating low-quality waxy chocolate, and my guess is the film comes from some oil of some kind in the filling. Another downside is that if you leave them in the milk for longer than a few minutes, they do start to have a slimy texture. Leave them longer than five minutes and they start to lose their crunch entirely. The milk does turn pink, but it’s not flavorful, and the last con is that if you want to be punched in the face with birthday cake flavor the way birthday cake ice creams and Oreos tend to, you will be disappointed. This tastes like a vaguely strawberry vanilla situation but is not overtly cakey. That said, it was still pretty addicting.
Jessica Block is a freelance contributor to Sporked, a comedian, a baker, a food writer, and a firm believer that Trader Joe's may just be the happiest place on earth. She loves spicy snacks, Oreos, baking bread, teeny tiny avocados, and trying new foods whenever she can. Also, if you give her a bag of Takis she will be your best friend.
Thoughts? Questions? Complete disagreement? Leave a comment!
Thoughts? Questions? Complete disagreement? Leave a comment!