4 Food Gifts You Should Never Buy Anyone

I love receiving food gifts. They’re typically sustainable, practical, and delicious. I’m always thrilled to receive a fancy can of tinned fish or a box of chocolates from one of my favorite brands. Food gifts can, however, go very wrong.

Receiving one of the best food gifts feels so special, but receiving one of these terrible food gifts is worse than receiving no gifts at all. I know that sounds ungrateful, but it’s a waste of their money and your stomach space. Use this list to stay away from buying food gifts absolutely no one wants.

1. Giant Versions of Foods

I am sorry, but no matter how much your best friend loves Rice Krispy Treats, they do not want a Rice Krispy Treat that’s the size of a floor tile. They’ll feel happy and excited by the pure shock of the size and the fact that you know their favorite treat, but it will go bad before they can finish it. Also, storing giant foods is a pain, making it one of the worst food gifts out there.

2. Premade Baskets of Products

I know a fancy basket of jams and jarred olives and hard cheeses that you found online from a fancy website seems like one of the best food gifts, but it’s boring and the quality is never there. If you like this concept, just put together your own little basket of products you know they’ll like. It’ll make the gift so much more personal and it will definitely be more affordable for you.

3. Culinary Gag Gifts

No one wants a plastic reindeer that defecates chocolate-covered raisins or a lollipop with a bug in it. They might seem fun and weird, but they just end up being wasteful food gifts. Part of the beauty of giving a food gift is that you’re gifting something useful and sustainable. Before you buy a food gift for someone, ask yourself this: “Where will my gift be in three months?” Ideally, your food-centric gift will have been consumed. If, in three months, your gift will most likely be in the trash or shoved away in a drawer, just don’t buy it!

4. Single-Use Food Appliances

As cute as the Hamilton Beach Quesadilla Maker is, your loved one simply does not need it. It is massive and will take up so much space in their kitchen. Plus, you can make a quesadilla in a pan! Unless the gift receiver is so rich that they have a massive kitchen with an unbelievable amount of storage, don’t gift them anything like this. Even if that is the case, why give them something that will probably collect dust in a cabinet anyway? I know this is a food making gift and not a food gift, but after receiving one too many DASH mini waffle makers, I have to say something.

About the Author

Jordan Myrick

Jordan is an L.A.-based writer and comedian who believes all food should come with extra sauce. When they're not writing for Sporked, Jordan is at the movies or sharing an order of french fries with their elderly chihuahua.

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  • “but it will go bad before they can finish it.”

    Wanna try me?

    • no faggot.