These days, you can’t swing a pickle without hitting at least five pickle-flavored products. Everyone’s getting in on the action, from Hidden Valley, purveyor of limited edition pickle ranch, to Van Leeuwen, an ice cream brand that recently released a dill pickle pint. People love pickles. Brands are onto us. And it’s actually a good thing for all us briny boys. Case in point: the new Heinz Pickle Ketchup, a condiment no one asked for but everyone needs. Allow me to elaborate.
- Heinz Pickle Ketchup
First of all, Heinz is the king of ketchup. When we taste tested dozens of ketchup brands, Heinz came out on top. That seems so boring, I agree, but it really is the best: bright, tangy, umami. It’s so perfect, in fact, that it might seem like it would be hard to improve upon, but I think Heinz Pickle Ketchup actually pulls that off. Three out of three pickle lovers on the Sporked staff agree, this stuff slaps.
Pros: If you also love pickles (apparently 73% of Americans do), this pickle-infused Heinz ketchup is perfection. It has the sweetness and umami of Heinz with a burst of dill pickle flavor that feels so seamless given that vinegar is among ketchup’s key ingredients. It’s dilly and briny, but still has that sweet ketchup backbone. If you like the toppings situation on a classic McDonald’s hamburger—ketchup, pickles, and those delicious reconstituted onion niblets—you are going to freak out for this. It captures that flavor, but you can add it to things that taste better than McDonald’s burger patties—say, one of the best frozen burgers or, you know, a shoe (just kidding, I actually really love McDonald’s burgers).
Cons: In terms of taste, texture, and overall enjoyability, I truly have zero notes. The only con I can conjure is that this stuff won’t be on grocery store shelves in the U.S. until early 2024. But it’s worth the wait, I’m telling ya.