Here’s What Frozen Appetizer You Are Based on Your Zodiac Sign

It’s getting to be that time of year when the leaves turn and begin to fall, you hear way more about your great aunt Candice’s political views than you ever wanted to hear, and the appetizers switch from chips and guac and dippable veggies to warm, delightful frozen apps that are fast, easy, and—I’ll say it again—warm. And while we know that this time of year is upon us and we may all have our favorite apps to eat, it is also true that every appetizer has its own specific vibe, so without further ado, here is what frozen appetizer you are based on your zodiac sign.

Aries (March 21-April 19): Mozzarella Sticks

frozen appetizers aries

This one just makes sense. Mozzarella sticks are a popular crowd-pleaser and so are Aries. People generally like Aries, and no matter what situation you find them in you are always pretty stoked to have them around. In the same way, even a mid mozzarella stick tastes really good nine times out of ten.

Read the full ranking of the best mozzarella sticks

Taurus (April 20-May 20): Soft Pretzel Bites

frozen appetizers taurus

Pretzel bites aren’t just warm and comforting, they’re versatile, too. They go well with anything from mustard to cheese sauce to cinnamon frosting, and they look good doing it. Similarly, Tauruses fit really well into any friend group and provide a warm, comforting presence for everyone involved.

Read the full ranking of the best soft pretzels

Gemini (May 21-June 20): Jalapeño Poppers

frozen appetizers gemini

Geminis will catch you by surprise because you will see one side of them, and then BAM you see the other and somehow it all makes sense. This is why they have to be jalapeño poppers. Spicy and crunchy on the outside, soft and creamy on the inside, both jalapeño poppers and Geminis have two distinct sides to them that come together into one complex and fun-to-party-with whole.

Read the full ranking of the best TGI Friday’s frozen appetizers

Cancer (June 21-July 22): Taquitos

frozen appetizer cancer

It is sometimes hard to tell if you are going to mesh well with a Cancer until you actually sit down and chat with them. At times they can seem lost in thought in a way you feel you probably shouldn’t interrupt. But never fear. Once you actually go and talk to them, they are full of fun (and occasionally wildin’) anecdotes that are sure to make your day 1000% more interesting. This is why they are taquitos. You can’t really tell what is inside them until you take a bite, and then you realize exactly how complex and interesting they can be.

Read the full ranking of the best frozen taquitos

Leo (July 23-August 22): Buffalo Wings

frozen appetizer leo

I mean, Buffalo wings are so popular they have whole restaurants dedicated to them—a Leo’s dream. But as appetizers, they are also great. Very few people would say no to a good Buffalo wing. Likewise, few people would say no to a good hangout with a Leo.

Read the full ranking of the best frozen buffalo wings

Virgo (August 23-September 22): Trader Joe’s Pastry Bites with Feta Cheese & Caramelized Onions

frozen appetizer virgo

These little bites are perfect for busy Virgos. One step (toss them in the oven) and they’re done—no sauce needed, no nothing. These are delicious and Virgos probably already know that because they are organized, on top of things, and have impeccable taste.

Read the full ranking of the best Trader Joe’s frozen appetizers

Libra (September 23-October 22): Samosas

frozen appetizer libra

Libras love balance, harmony, and many different components coming together to create a beautiful, cohesive, whole. If that doesn’t describe Indian food, I don’t know what does. That is why Libras have to be Samosas—the complex mixture of flavors, textures, and chutneys to dip in are a Libra’s dream. Libras contain multitudes and so do samosas.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21): Fried Ravioli

frozen appetizer scorpio

Scorpios are the most mysterious of the signs, and to me, frozen ravioli are the most mysterious of the frozen apps. What exactly are they? Are they actually breaded and fried ravioli? Is having both pasta and breading redundant? Are they really just Pizza Rolls with a crispier crust? When can I take a bite without burning my entire face off? Fried ravioli leave me with more questions than answers, and Scorpios are often the same way.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): Swedish Meatballs

frozen appetizers sagittarius

Sagittariuses are curious and knowledge-seeking, so I feel like they would buy the frozen Swedish meatballs, but then make their own lingonberry sauce, and that lingonberry sauce would be absolutely killer. Also, I feel like Sagittariuses are the only sign (with the exception of maybe all of Sweden) that would actually know what a lingonberry is. You bet your kvørstådblügle (an Ikea product name I made up) they looked it up.

Read the full ranking of the best frozen meatballs

Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Fried Cheese Curds

frozen appetizers capricorn

Everyone knows that if you eat a fried cheese curd right out of the oven or fryer, you will burn every surface of your mouth seemingly beyond repair. But Capricorns are the most patient of the signs. They know better. They can wait until food is the right temperature and then eat it. Capricorns are an absolute masterclass in patience.

Read the full ranking of the best Trader Joe’s frozen appetizers

Aquarius (January 20-February 18): Trader Joe’s Fried Olive Bites

frozen appetizers aqaurius

Olives strike me as an Aquarian food and I’m not sure why. I feel like quirky girls love some good olive and pickle action, and this frozen app incorporates not only delicious olives but gooey cheese as well. Maybe these are a metaphor for Aquarius—quirky on the outside and warm and empathetic on the inside? I don’t know, y’all. Either way, Aquarius is Fried Olive Bites.

Read the full ranking of the best Trader Joe’s frozen appetizers

Pisces (February 19-March 20): Mini Quiche

frozen appetizers pisces

First of all, mini quiches are adorable. And with Pisces being the most whimsical and romantic of the signs, mini anything seems like a good fit. But quiche specifically is very Pisces. It would be a great appetizer for a date, as it is dainty, easy to eat, and not too heavy. Also, and this is important, it probably won’t get stuck in your teeth. Just don’t go with a spinach one and you’ll be fine.

About the Author

Jessica Block

Jessica Block is a freelance contributor to Sporked, a comedian, a baker, a food writer, and a firm believer that Trader Joe's may just be the happiest place on earth. She loves spicy snacks, Oreos, baking bread, teeny tiny avocados, and trying new foods whenever she can. Also, if you give her a bag of Takis she will be your best friend.