Everyone has a favorite pasta sauce. Whether you like things spicy, creamy, herby, or all of the above, there is a pasta sauce out there that fits your taste. Similarly, there are many different types of people out there, and I can say with 100% certainty that there is a pasta sauce that perfectly fits your personality. And if you are wondering what that sauce is, don’t worry your little noodle—I’m about to tell you what pasta sauce you are based on your zodiac sign. So boil up some rigatoni, pick out your favorite pasta bowl, and let’s get saucy.
Aries (March 21-April 19): Marinara
The people like marinara. They just do. The people also happen to like Aries. And since marinara sauce and Aries are two of the most generally likable foods/people out there, Aries has to be marinara sauce. They are both great to have around, fit into many different situations seamlessly, and are universal faves.
Read the full ranking of the best marinara sauce
Taurus (April 20-May 20): Alfredo
Tauruses are a smooth, soothing, calming presence, just like creamy, dreamy alfredo sauce. If you have ever had a large bowl of fettuccine alfredo, then you know it is a damn near spiritual experience and puts you in a relaxed headspace you can’t find just anywhere. It is rich and calming and (sometimes) cheesy, just like Tauruses.
Read the full ranking of the best alfredo sauce
Gemini (May 21-June 20): Cacio e Pepe
Cacio e Pepe and Geminis have a LOT in common. They are both multifaceted, complex, and, quite honestly, a little difficult. But once you master the art of being friends with a Gemini or making Cacio e Pepe, then you get to eat one of the best pasta sauces out there and be friends with a super interesting person. Yes, there is chaos involved (in both Geminis and trying to make Cacio e Pepe), but ultimately Geminis spice up your life such that once you have befriended a Gemini, you are prepared for anything.
Cancer (June 21-July 22): Butternut Squash
With Cancers, you have to expect the unexpected. You know a pasta sauce that people never expect? Butternut squash pasta sauce. But it is so. dang. good. You might not expect that, given that butternut squash seems like a pretty subtle flavor for a pasta sauce, but get some spices, onion, cream, and garlic in there, and, hoo boy, is it one of the most interesting, novel, and complex sauces out there. This is just like Cancers, who may seem like very normal people at first but, man, is their tea more interesting than literally anyone else’s.
Read our ranking of the best butternut squash soup
Leo (July 23-August 22): Spicy Vodka Sauce
We all remember how a couple of years ago spicy vodka sauce had a moment (or rather, was the moment). Well, there is nothing a Leo loves more than having (or being) a moment. Plus, spicy vodka sauce deserves recognition and so do Leos, I mean, come on. They are both fantastic.
Read the full ranking of the best jarred vodka sauce
Virgo (August 23-September 22): Pesto
There are very few culinary situations pesto can’t make 100% better. Whether it is as a condiment for a sandwich, a sauce for literally any shape of pasta, or spread on a toasty baguette, pesto is an absolute banger of a sauce. It is also a perfect match for Virgos, who adapt quickly to any situation and also are always busy and need a sauce in their lives with lots of applications.
Read the full ranking of the best pesto
Libra (September 23-October 22): Browned Butter and Sage
Libras love a good balanced, harmonious, symphony of flavors (and balance in general). There are few pasta sauces out there that are more complex and balanced than a nice browned butter and sage sauce. It is amazing on any pasta but, oh my goodness, if you have not had this combo on some cheese ravioli then you, my friend, are missing out. Grab your Libra friends (or yourself if you’re a Libra) and go get you some of this sauce to get lost in.
Read the full ranking of the best butter
Scorpio (October 23-November 21): Carbonara
Scorpios are mysterious and so is carbonara sauce. It may seem like a regular ol’ creamy yellow sauce to the uninitiated, but there is so much more to it than meets the eye. It is made of runny egg yolks (yum), it has peas sometimes (for some reason), and it also has guanciale (which it turns out isn’t bacon, just bacon adjacent). Carbonara is a lady of many secrets, as are most of my Scorpio friends, who also (for some reason) often have peas with them.
Read our ranking of the best bacon
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): Aglio e Olio
Sagittariuses are naturally very curious, and I have had more than one Sagittarius friend see this on a menu at some point and look it up right then and there. For all you Sagittarians out there, I’ll save you the trip: it means garlic and oil. Why? Because that’s exactly what this “sauce” is made of: garlic and olive oil. It is simple, but make it with a good quality olive oil and some fragrant garlic, it is one of the best and easiest pasta options out there.
Read our ranking of the best olive oil
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Bolognese
Capricorns are patient types (couldn’t be me) and thus would have the patience to make a hearty and slowly stewed Bolognese. This rich, tomatoey meat sauce tastes better and better the longer you let the flavors sit and talk to themselves, and Capricorns are just the sign for the job—thus Capricorns are Bolognese.
Read the full ranking of the best jarred meat sauce
Aquarius (January 20-February 18): Mac and Cheese
In the immortal words of Natasha Bedingfield, Aquarians “break tradition, sometimes [their] tries are outside the lines.” That being said, you know if you asked a quirky Aquarius what their favorite pasta sauce is, they would say, “The cheese part of the mac and cheese.” And, I mean, they got us on this one. Mac and cheese is, in fact, pasta with sauce. You gotta give it to ‘em.
Read the full ranking of the best boxed mac and cheese
Pisces (February 19-March 20): Arrabbiata
They don’t call ‘em “Spicy Pisces” for nothing, so the perfect sauce match for our Pisces friendos has to be arrabbiata sauce, which is essentially tomato sauce but with some spicy red peppers blended in. Plus, spicy food makes your cheeks red and Pisces are the most romantic of the signs and also the most likely to make you blush, so to me this all checks out.
Read the full ranking of the best arrabbiata sauce
Thoughts? Questions? Complete disagreement? Leave a comment!