Cheez-It and Hidden Valley Are Teaming Up *Again* on Something Cheesy and Ranchy

Newton’s Third Law tells us that for every action there is an equal and opposite re-action, and I firmly believe that Sir Isaac Newton (inventor of fig-filled cookies and also physics) may have been on to something here. Why? Because as it turns out, this law doesn’t just apply to normal force and books on tables and people in pools. It also applies to the Real Housewives saying literally anything to one another (and the inevitable clap back), people giving me earnest compliments (F them, amirite?), and yes, Cheez-Its. A couple of weeks ago we got the action: Hidden Valley Ranch gave us Cheez-It flavored Hidden Valley Ranch, and now, sometime soon, we are getting the equal and opposite re-action: Hidden Valley Ranch Flavored Cheez-Its. See? Physics is beautiful (wait, am I in the wrong profession? Hello, Mr. NASA?).  

Yes, we get it, the world is a wondrous place—now where and when can we get these Hidden Valley Ranch Cheez-Its? And what exactly are they?

Well, here’s the thing, we still don’t know a ton. However, the packaging does give us some important clues. In a recent post from the food news Instagram page @Candyhunting, the grainy-but-beautiful Claude-Monet-esque image of these glorious glorious soon-to-be snacks tells us that these will be white Cheez-Its (they look a bit like the white cheddar ones), and they will, in fact, be Hidden Valley Ranch flavored by way of a powdery coating. At least, this seems to be the case since the large Cheez-It on the pack has some green specks on it, implying ranch flavor dust. Is it possible that the Cheez-It itself is ranch flavored in addition to being covered in a HVR-flavored powder? Absolutely. Would I pass out because the thought of that sounds perhaps too good? I just might. Either way, this collab will combine the king of the cheesy cracker world with the king (and inventor) of the ranch world, and there is no way I am not trying these crackers as soon as I see them on shelves.

As for timing, all we know right now is that Hidden Valley Ranch Cheez-Its will be limited edition and that they’re heading to stores “soon.” So whether we’re lookin’ at cheesy crackers with ranch powder or more of a ranch-on-ranch-on-ranch situation, you can bet I will be there on the launch day, in the grocery store, ready to give these fine companies my hard-earned cash. And who knows? Maybe they will have an equal and opposite reaction and they’ll pay me for picking up some Cheez-Its? Only one way to find out.

About the Author

Jessica Block

Jessica Block is a freelance contributor to Sporked, a comedian, a baker, a food writer, and a firm believer that Trader Joe's may just be the happiest place on earth. She loves spicy snacks, Oreos, baking bread, teeny tiny avocados, and trying new foods whenever she can. Also, if you give her a bag of Takis she will be your best friend.

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