Here’s How the Smosh Cast Would Survive an Apocalypse

I had the chance to chat with some of the Smosh cast members at VidCon, so obviously I took the opportunity to ask them what grocery store they’d want to be stuck in during a zombie apocalypse.

Not only which grocery store, but which aisle, specifically, they’d be okay living in for the end of days. Much like the Smosh cast, the answers are funny and weird. This is how Smosh cast members would survive a zombie apocalypse. Who would you buddy up with?

Amanda Lehan-Canto: Whole Foods, Cereal Aisle

As a breakfast lover, Amanda is posting up in the cereal aisle of Whole Foods. Amanda’s second choice? Sephora. It’s not a grocery store, but she said she wanted to eat everyone’s favorite forbidden snack: lipstick!

Tommy Bowe: Vons, Canned Foods Aisle

Tommy waffled. He wanted to say Erewhon (a notoriously expensive L.A. grocery store chain), but knew that wasn’t practical, so he settled on Vons. Tommy identifies as a “classic guy,” so he went with a classic grocery store. “You’ve got everything!” he exclaimed. That being said, I do believe he would follow his heart and run into an Erewhon if the zombie apocalypse were to happen, even though he knows that means he will probably die first. I mean, you can’t survive on $17 Hailey Bieber smoothies alone.

Jacklyn Uweh: Costco, Pet Aisle

Jacklyn Uweh is a diehard Kirkland brand fan. She goes to Costco just to walk around with friends. She already knows where everything is in the store. Not only would she be able to survive, she’d use the scaffolding as her own personal climbing gym to stay jacked. While she’d make the entirety of Costco her bitch, she’d be camped out in the pet aisle because she is bringing her cats with her.

Noah Grossman: Costco, Deli Aisle

Without skipping a beat, Noah said Costco. Noah has chosen to settle down in maybe the most popular aisle in Costco: the deli aisle. He wants to be right next to the $5 rotisserie chickens. Will Jacklyn and Noah team up or become foes in this zombie apocalypse? Only time (and how well Noah gets along with Jacklyn’s cats) will tell.

Angela Giovann Giarratana: Erewhon, Vitamin Aisle

Angela is playing the ultimate strategy in the zombie apocalypse. She’ll be living in the vitamin aisle of Erewhon. “I’m going to survive, bitch,” she said. It won’t be delicious, but she will be absolutely jacked on supplements and ready to punch zombies in the face.

About the Author

Jordan Myrick

Jordan is an L.A.-based writer and comedian who believes all food should come with extra sauce. When they're not writing for Sporked, Jordan is at the movies or sharing an order of french fries with their elderly chihuahua.

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