The Ideal Way to Eat an Oreo, According to Scientists

The correct way to eat an Oreo is now backed up by science. Sort of.

A group of MIT researchers was messing around with various physics machines, one thing led to another, and suddenly they had invented the Oreometer: a machine perfectly designed to twist and release Oreos with expert precision. What constitutes expert precision, you ask? Well, our buddies over at MIT have defined an ideal Oreo separation as all the cream on one side, clean cookie on the other. They also noted that the best way to achieve this ideal result is to use “a freshly opened pack and separate [the Oreos] with a twisting motion.” I happen to agree with them. They also found that consistently getting the cream to equally distribute to both sides upon cookie separation was nigh on impossible, which is perhaps another reason they chose the “cream to one side” as the goal. But whatever, I choose to believe that the Oreometer proves that physics, the very rules by which we live our lives, has determined the correct way to consume an Oreo, and I’m not about to argue with physics. If you want to interpret the results for yourself, the peer-reviewed study came out this week.

My first introduction to the ongoing “best way to eat an Oreo” debate was when I was probably five years old. I was hanging out with a cousin who happens to be eight years older than me, so obviously she was (and still is) all-knowing and awesome. We were sitting in her kitchen eating Oreos, and when I took a bite of an unseparated cookie, she stopped me and said, “No, no, no. There is only one right way to eat an Oreo,” and then proceeded to educate me on the tried and true “twist, then lick, then cookies” method, and I have never once questioned her authority on the matter. In the same visit, she also taught me not to double-dip at parties. Very wise cousin indeed.

But here’s the thing. I’m an adult now. I make decisions for myself, gosh darn it. I pay bills. I buy toilet paper. I groan about gas prices and last week’s SNL. And I have tried other methods of Oreo eating just to see if they have any merit. The bite, the dunk, the deconstruct three then reconstruct as a triple stuf—you name it, I’ve tried it. Nothing measures up to the “twist, then lick, then cookies.” And now I can accurately and honestly say that science agrees with me. And that’s pretty cool.

H/T USA Today