What Jones Soda Are You Based On your Sodiac Sign?

Looking to figure out what Western Canadian indie soda flavor you are based on your sign? Well, wouldn’t you know, we might have just the zodiac article you’ve been jonesing for. That’s right, the famous Jones soda brand, known for the consumer-submitted photos on its labels and its tangy-sweet flavor lineup, has a soda to fit every personality, and then some. So settle in and read on and we’ll tell you exactly what Jones soda flavor we think would match your freak based on your zodiac sign.

Aries (March 21-April 19): Berry Lemonade

jones soda zodiac aries

Aries are likable people. They are also intense and tend to be pretty competitive. Well, I ask you this: Who do you know who doesn’t like Berry Lemonade? No one, that’s who. Also, with its strong fruitiness and sour kick, Berry Lemonade could definitely classify as an intense flavor, just like our Aries friends. Plus, it’s blue! And fun fact: Even winners feel blue sometimes.

Read our ranking of the best lemonade

Taurus (April 20-May 20): Lemon Lime

jones soda zodiac taurus

Tauruses tend to have a soothing, calming, down-to-earth presence. Is there anything more soothing than trying something where the name tells you exactly what it is going to taste like? Not only that, but Tauruses also tend to have a taste for the finer things in life and this is basically expensive, luxury Sprite so drink your heart out, you bougie Tauruses—this one’s for you.

Read our ranking of the best lemon lime soda

Gemini (May 21-June 20): Orange & Cream

jones soda zodiac gemini

Orange and cream. They truly have nothing in common as foods, colors, or concepts. That said, you put ‘em together, and BLAMMO—magic happens. You could almost call them a dream(sicle) team. You know who else is known for containing two completely opposite parts that come together (blammo) into one socially comfortable, curious, energetic dream team of a person? You guessed it—it’s the Geminis. They contain multitudes and we are here for it.

Read our ranking of the best orange soda

Cancer (June 21-July 22): Watermelon

jones soda zodiac cancer

Sometimes Cancers aren’t what they seem. And that’s not on them for hiding it, that’s on you for not taking the time to coax out their real personality. Do better! Just kidding (or am I?). The point is, it takes a bit of time to truly get to know Cancers, but once you do you will not regret it. In this way, they’re just like watermelons—it may take you an hour or two (no? just me?) to fully process one and get it all cut up, but once you take the time to do that then you just get to enjoy all the sweet awesomeness it has to offer.

Leo (July 23-August 22): Green Apple

jones soda zodiac leo

You don’t hear about green apple sodas a lot, so when you do, they stand out. If there is one thing I know about Leos, it’s that they LOVE standing out. You know what they say, if you give a Leo a captive audience, they are going to want a Jones green apple soda to go with it…or something like that.

Virgo (August 23-September 22): Pineapple Cream

jones soda zodiac virgo

Virgos are notoriously busy people. Some would say too busy to take a vacation. And you know what they say, if you are too busy to take a vacation, you can always stick a toothpick umbrella in some pineapple cream soda and pretend you are on a relaxing island sipping pineapple cream soda with a little toothpick umbrella in it.

Libra (September 23-October 22): Strawberry Lime

jones soda zodia libra

Libras like balance, and nothing screams balance like a sour, floral, zesty citrus mixed with a fruity, sweet berry. Plus, both Libra and Lime start with the letter L. Coincidence?! Couldn’t be. Everything happens for a reason.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21): Cola

jones soda zodiac scorpio

What’s in Cola? No one knows. I mean, the internet does but most people don’t know exactly what makes Cola taste the way it does without looking it up. This reminded me of mysterious Scorpios because you never really know what they are thinking. You could find out by asking them, but who has the time?

Read our ranking of the best cola

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): Root Beer

jones soda zodiac sagittarius

Root Beer is another one of that family of old-timey drinks that happened because some guy, usually a pharmacist or doctor of some kind, threw a bunch of plants in a pot and then told people it was medicinal, or a ~new brew~, or a unique tonic of some kind. I say we bring back people randomly steeping herbs and then having famous sodas named after them! Why is root beer Sagittarius though, I hear you ask? Well, they are the curious, adventurous type of people who would put said herbs and spices together to make a drink like this. I would bet that Dr Pepper is a Sagittarius.

Read our ranking of the best root beer

Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Cream Soda

jones soda zodiac capricorn

Capricorns are the most patient and hardworking of the signs. They make great leaders and I think that’s partly because they have mature, profound, old souls, and when I think of the old timiest, maturest, pulled-itself-up-by-the-bootstraps-sounding soda, it is cream soda. People just aren’t talking about it anymore and I think they are missing out. A fizzy, sugary, ice-cold bevvy that tastes like vanilla ice cream? I mean come on—who doesn’t love the sound of that?

Read our ranking of the best cream soda

Aquarius (January 20-February 18): Orange Chocolate

jones soda zodiac aquarius

I have never seen a chocolate-orange soda besides this one from Jones, which means it is one of a kind, and as an Aquarius, I’d like to think that I too am one of a kind. Yes, I am aware that all other Aquarians like to think this about themselves, which by definition makes none of us one of a kind. I am also now realizing that this is a bit of a paradox in that if I make any statement about the blanket uniqueness of Aquarians then we are all by definition nonunique (I wrote myself into a corner; someone please help).

P.S. This soda has “special” in the name and guess who else is “special”?

Pisces (February 19-March 20): Blue Bubblegum

jones soda zodiac pisces

Pisces are sweet people who love reminiscing about nostalgic events from the past. You know what is sweet and is something we can all reminisce about in a nostalgic way? Blue bubblegum-flavored things. This soda evokes state fairs, ice cream shops, and simpler times, and hooo boi is that exactly what we all need right now—especially our lovely, emotionally driven Pisces friends. Plus, Pisces is fish and water is blue and fish swim in water, so much like the ocean (where the fish are), I think my argument holds water.


About the Author

Jessica Block

Jessica Block is a freelance contributor to Sporked, a comedian, a baker, a food writer, and a firm believer that Trader Joe's may just be the happiest place on earth. She loves spicy snacks, Oreos, baking bread, teeny tiny avocados, and trying new foods whenever she can. Also, if you give her a bag of Takis she will be your best friend.

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