From Peeps to Swedish Fish, Oreo has given us many wacky flavors through the years, essentially desensitizing us to new and weird things. Many of us were barely even surprised when they announced the genius (but ultimately just a prank) ketchup packet of just Oreo creme this past April Fool’s Day. Well, my friends, Oreo got us again.
Earlier this week, they Tweeted that they were releasing the opposite of the aforementioned prank creme packets: an entire pack of “Just the Wafer” Oreos, and I got my stupid little hopes up only to have the rug pulled out from under me yet again. I am Charlie Brown, Oreo is Lucy, and these cool new wafers are the dod derned football, pulled away every time I try to kick it.
These Just the Wafer Oreos may just be a prank but now people actually want them…heck, I actually want them
O Oreo! Hear my plea: I want these wafers. I think I speak for all people everywhere when I say we all want these wafers. Having the option of just the creme or just the cookie makes a person’s confectionery life infinitely more customizable. Imagine Oreo creme on fruit, slotted into smores, on top of brownies, or even just squirted into the air as an expression of joy! Imagine the creme-free Oreo cookies crushed into milkshakes, frostings, and pie crusts, crumbled into flavorful magic dust like a sweet, chocolatey furikake, or simply eaten straight out of the package with peanut butter, cream cheese, funfetti icing, chocolate hummus, caramel, marshmallow fluff…I mean the list could go on!
And it’s not like similar things don’t exist. Nabisco, the company that makes Oreos, does in fact make plain chocolate wafer cookies not dissimilar to the cookie part of an Oreo, and they’ve been making them since 1924. But do these wafers have the same thickness, texture, branding, and overall zest for life that Oreos possess? You bet your butt they don’t. And can you get Oreo creme just on its own at this point? No siree bob.
So please, Oreo. I’m all for companies having a bit of cheeky fun on Twitter. But could you stop with the pranks and actually give us “Just the Wafers” in real life? Just this once?
