In 2023, it’s pretty big waste of energy to hate the Kardashians. If we’ve learned anything in the 15-or-so years since a sex tape launched them to stardom, it’s that animosity only serves to fuel their outsized influence. The more terrible, out-of-touch things they do and say, the more controversy they generate, the more enmeshed they become in the collective consciousness. It’s a real resistance-is-futile-situation. So, as they say, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. Or since you can’t actually join ’em (you don’t work hard enough!), join the ranks of people who blithely buy their skincare and overpriced loungewear and, in this case, energy drink collabs.
Wellness brand Alani Nu recently released Kimade, a low-cal, low-carb, zero-sugar energy drink that packs 200 mg of caffeine per 12 ounce can. If you’re planning to go to Alani Nu’s website to buy some, it’s already sold out (shocker), but you can check out some photographs of potential use cases. For instance, Kim Kardashian apparently drinks this beverage while she lifts weights in high heels and a swimsuit and when she goes skiing without any pants on. Obviously, it doesn’t matter whether or not the stuff tastes good, but, hey, I’m going to tell you anyway. In a sense, this is me getting my f***ing ass up and working.
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