I love Oreos just as much (if not more) than the next person. They are incredibly delicious, sensationally affordable, and readily available. The crunchy cookies and the sugary cream are a match made in heaven. And while they’re good on their own, dunking an Oreo into a glass of cold milk is one of life’s simplest pleasures. I consider Oreos to be the perfect cookie, but I do have a request to make to the Oreo company. I am begging, absolutely pleading with them: Please, please stop making new flavors.
You might be saying, “But Jordan, I love the flavored Oreos!” And to that, I counter: Do you? I know it feels exciting when Oreo launches a new, exclusive, seasonal flavor, but how often do they really taste good? Are you genuinely excited about the new flavor or are you just desperate to feel anything at all?
I used to get swept up in the excitement of new Oreo flavors. It was so fun to seek out the unique sweet treats and sample them, determining how they stacked up against the other flavors I’d tried. But before long, I started to feel like I couldn’t keep up. It went from the occasional drop to what felt like an everyday occurrence. And then add the fake, photoshopped Oreo flavors on top of that? It wasn’t novel anymore.
All the flavors started to run together. There’s Peanut Butter and Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie. Toffee Crunch and Caramel Coconut taste almost exactly the same. There are four thousand versions of chocolate. Then they started introducing flavors that were actually bad. Swedish Fish? Candy Corn? Why?! And don’t even get me started on the Lady Gaga Oreos which, as far as I could tell, were chemical flavored?
I know some of the flavors are delicious. Trust me, I’ve had a Mint Oreo straight out of the freezer. But, at this point, I cannot fathom what Oreo could design that would feel different or like an improvement on their already extensive flavor roster. When it comes to my cookies, I want them to taste like desserts and not science experiments.
I can’t say this enough: I am a huge Oreo fan. I love them. They are my favorite cookie on the market and have been for my entire life. That being said, I need them to stop playing this new flavor con. I do not have the physical or mental energy to keep up and I can’t be the only one. Oreo, you can relax. You’ve done it. You’ve perfected the cookie. I don’t need an avocado mousse or chocolate-covered potato chip Oreo. I just want to curl up on the couch with some classic Double Stuf Oreos and enjoy the familiar and iconic flavor we all know and love.