I’m going to level with y’all: Fruity candy is my absolute favorite (yes, over chocolate), so I’d like to start off by saying that all eight of the candies on this list are winners in my book. And Mythical Beasts agree with me—the eight fruity candies that Rhett & Link pitted against each other during a Good Mythical Morning taste test in 2021 were chosen via a poll of 40,000 Mythical Beasts.
Rhett & Link then went through these candies tournament style to figure out which of the eight would be the “Most Handy Fruity Halloween Candy.” And, let me tell you, it was a bit of an upset, so I’m going to start from the bottom to build suspense, just because I care about you and want to make your life more interesting.
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Link thought these were “more of a taffy, less waxy” than Starburst. Conversely, Rhett thought they were “significantly more waxy.” But they both agreed that, compared to Starburst, these were lacking in the flavor department. Sorry, Airheads!
Fun fact: Starburst was one of Rhett & Link’s first sponsors. Alas, that didn’t do the brand any favors in this taste test. Rhett correctly pointed out that Strawberry (pink) is the best Starburst flavor. He also said, “Starburst have never really done anything for me.” Link agreed. And that was that on that.
- Swedish Fish
These bad boys are made by Mondelez international, which might not be relevant if you didn’t watch this episode (they say Mondelez International at least 20 times in the span of one minute). Rhett tried these little gummy fish and immediately said, “Let me just say, I do love them.” He liked the softness and chewiness, and the “fact that they taste fake […] they taste like red dye should taste.” Link thought they were fine.
- Jolly Rancher
Link pointed out that, unlike the #4 candy, “When you put a Jolly Rancher in your mouth, you immediately get hit with flavor, you don’t have to wait for anything.” Rhett said that gummy candy will always beat hard candy in his book. Link countered with the fact that hard candies encourage patience. (And, as our own Danny Palumbo wrote, hard candy is a cool guy thing!) Then reluctantly agreed that the #4 pick was better.
- Haribo Goldbears
Link put a bear in his mouth and then noted that “this doesn’t taste great when I put it into my mouth immediately,” which was followed by a few minutes of Rhett making fun of him for marveling at the concept of eating things. Later, when these were compared to the #2 pick, Link called these lil bears “unsoured, unpatched kids.” Poetic.
Link was met with groans from the Mythical Crew when he pointed out that the Skittle he was holding looked “kind of like it was masquerading as an M&M.” And while the guys thought these were “significantly better than Airheads,” they ended up choosing the #1 candidate over these, much to the chagrin of the Mythical Crew.
- Sour Patch Kids
I know what you’re thinking: “These are #2?!?” Trust me, the crew is with you on that one. As compared to Swedish Fish and Haribo Goldbears, though, Rhett & Link loved these. They pointed out that “there’s a lot more of an experience here” than with Swedish fish. Rhett liked that because they’re long and tall and flat, they won’t roll off of anything, unlike his water bottle which rolled away when he dropped it on his driveway and he lost it forever. So this basically solves the problem most people have of dropping rolly candy in their driveway and losing it.
Alright so who did it?! Who dethrones our beloved Sour Patch? Turn to the Nerds …
Link said, “I just love these things. I like the sound they make in the box, the crunch they make in your mouth,” and Rhett added that “if you forget your maraca, just bring Nerds.” They loved the tiny box these come in, as well as the tangy, smart (cuz Nerds) crunchiness of it all. The final decision between Sour Patch and Nerds came down to former Hot Dog on a Stick employee (and GMM executive producer) Matt Carney, who said that Nerds were way better than he remembered and, ultimately, better than Sour Patch Kids. Needless to say, the whole Mythical Crew was mad at Rhett & Link for choosing these over both Skittles and Sour Patch Kids. But, hey, sometimes in life, it’s nice to see the nerds win.