Rhett & Link Taste the Chewiest, Fruitiest Gummy Bears

What came first: The gummy bear or the creepy German song about them? I would wager a guess that it’s the bears themselves, but you never know. There’s nothing quite like the texture of a perfect gummy bear. But in a gummy-saturated market, it’s sometimes hard to know which brands will deliver on that bouncy softness, chewiness, and flavorful burst, and which lil bears will be flavorless or hard as rocks.

Rhett & Link tried the orange, yellow, clear, red, and green flavors of the top four gummy bear brands back in November 2021. While they didn’t rank them (this is Good Mythical More, after all) they did very clearly compliment the ones they liked—so here are their picks in order of how much they complimented the gummies, starting with the best.

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Albanese Gummi Bears

These were clearly Rhett & Link’s favorites. These very detailed-looking bears (even down to the paw prints!) delivered on taste, texture, appearance, variety of flavors, and more. When Rhett tried these he said, “First of all, incredible consistency. Super soft, no resistance at all, but just enough—it’s not like it’s gonna fall apart in your mouth.” We love a gummy you don’t have to gnaw on for days. The flavor of these was not too overwhelming, but it certainly wasn’t underwhelming—the Orange flavor even caused Rhett to exclaim, “What in the world? That is so fruity!”

Trolli Classic Bears

These gummies fell somewhere between Haribo and Albanese, texture-wise. That is to say, they’re not pillowy soft, but they’re not rock hard either. Definitely a goldilocks and the three gummy bears sort of situation. Rhett & Link noted that with these are smaller than Albanese, but that every single flavor of these had “really good flavor and good consistency,” although Link thought the lime was too citrusy.

Haribo Goldbears

Haribo Goldbears are what Rhett (and I’m sure many of us) would call “the classic gummy bear.” These were smaller, harder, and denser than all the other bears, but certainly had better flavor across the board. In other words, more punchy, worse consistency. The flavors were good, but Rhett & Link pointed out that you have to work harder to get to it. Link said these gummies are “too hard man, too freakin’ hard,” and Rhett wholeheartedly agreed that these don’t have a pleasurable texture when compared to the softer brands. Also, not a negative, but the strawberry flavor is green in this bag, so that’s fun!

Black Forest Gummy Bears

Rhett and link noted that these ones had a little pine tree from the black forest on their bellies. These were very chewy—almost Haribo level chewy, but not quite, hold your gummy horses. Haribo were still the hardest and chewiest. The main issue with these is that they have very little flavor—“just a suggestion of flavor,” as Rhett & Link put it. Link even went as far as to say, “They’re really scared of actually putting flavor onto these things.” These do claim to be made with real juice, but, apparently, the real juice isn’t cutting it flavor-wise. Rhett & Link suggested they use more artificial flavors. Green (apple) was the strongest of the Black Forest flavors, but it still wasn’t strong enough.

About the Author

Jessica Block

Jessica Block is a freelance contributor to Sporked, a comedian, a baker, a food writer, and a firm believer that Trader Joe's may just be the happiest place on earth. She loves spicy snacks, Oreos, baking bread, teeny tiny avocados, and trying new foods whenever she can. Also, if you give her a bag of Takis she will be your best friend.

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