I learned a very good lesson during my first week at Mythical: Never drink soda before a meeting. I spent the whole hour trying to keep down those inevitable bubbles of embarrassment (burps, in layman’s terms). Was I successful? I’m still here, so we’ll leave it at that. But not everything that tastes like soda brings the belches. In fact, on today’s episode of Good Mythical Morning, Rhett & Link tasted seven soda-inspired snacks and rated them on how closely they resembled their soda parent. The most accurate soda-flavored food was crowned “Soda Snack Brian.”
Dr. Pepper Baked Beans
Rhett’s Match Score: 7
Link’s Match Score: 4
Newsflash, Link doesn’t like a lot of food. I’m talking about everything from tomatoes to sodas—including today’s contenders, like Dr. Pepper, root beer, and cream soda. Do with that information what you will. In my opinion, I think it makes him an effective judge. He can detect sodas he detests, no problem. If the snack tastes like the soda, he’ll be the first to say something. Anyway, let’s talk beans. Everyone knows Rhett loves beans. In fact, he just so happens to have a can of Dr. Pepper Baked Beans in his house that he hasn’t tried yet. Isn’t that convenient? Rhett likes Dr. Pepper ribs, so he figured that the beans would be just as good, but he found only a “hint” of Dr. Pepper flavor in them. Though the Dr. Pepper “hint” was accurate and complimentary, it simply was not enough. He felt that the beans were “very molassassy” and had a “slight medicinal quality” that overpowered the soda. Link liked the Dr. Pepper Baked Beans, but agreed that he would never have guessed Dr. Pepper was in them had he been blindfolded (and that man can taste a tomato in darn near anything).
Coca-Cola Tic Tacs
Rhett’s Match Score: 5
Link’s Match Score: 8
The Coca-Cola Tic Tacs were an unexpected delight…for Rhett that is. And, uhh, maybe Link too? While Link enjoyed the Tic-Tacs (saying, and I quote, “I’m really impressed with this one”), he gave them a surprisingly low score, in true Link fashion. The crew was shocked and an audible gasp echoed through the room, in true crew fashion. Rhett scored it higher than Link, but he thought that the Tic Tacs had an artificial Coke flavor, like “those little gummy Coke things.” The silver lining they could agree on? Each Tic Tac has a little Coca-Cola logo on it! What a wonderful detail.
Red Bull Halls Cough Drops
Rhett’s Match Score: 2
Link’s Match Score: 2
These now-discontinued, Thai-exclusive Halls are, actually, still available in the recesses of the internet. But the question is, why in the world would you want these? Here is Rhett’s (very reasonable) guess: “Maybe if you’re going on, like, a base jump with all your boys and everyone’s gonna be drinking Red Bull, and you’re like, ‘Ahhhh I’ve got a sore throat but want them to still think I’m one of the boys. If I eat these Halls, if I suck on these Halls, they’ll be sure that I was drinking Red Bull.’” Oooo-kay. Well, even if you find yourself in this situation, it turns out Red Bull Halls won’t\ be much help. They hardly taste like Red Bull and the flavor fades almost immediately, quickly becoming overpowered by the Halls flavor (not to mention, they’re super tiny). Link said, “I’m totally unstoked by this, and that’s not what Red Bull’s supposed to do.” Red Bull Gives You Wings? More like Red Bull Sucks. Good one, Navya. (That’s me, by the way).
Guy Fieri Root Beer BBQ Sauce
Rhett’s Match Score: 4
Link’s Match Score: 4
Now that I’m done talking to myself, we can talk barbeque sauce. While Rhett has been to the Guy Fieri restaurant (in the Cancún airport) and praised Fieri’s “food choices,” he was underwhelmed by the sauce. It came down to the fact that there was very little root beer flavor, and that it was “not the best barbeque sauce.” Basically, it’s just a meh barbeque sauce. And the more the guys ate it and tried to find root beer flavor, the harder it was to find.
Jelly Belly A&W Cream Soda Jelly Bean
Rhett’s Match Score: 9
Link’s Match Score: 11
Link doesn’t like cream soda. We’ve established that. But I could not—in a million lifetimes—have ever expected him to say “it tastes like you melted a grandpa candy into soda water.” (Although, I sort of get what he’s trying to get at). So, imagine the next surprise of a lifetime. He… was very impressed by it? In fact, he was its biggest advocate. Though Rhett was the one who brought up that it “tastes more like cream soda than the cream soda,” Link was the one to break the ranking scale, and give the jelly beans a score of 11. “This is the best way to eat cream soda,” he said. It’s also (surprise, surprise) Soda Snack Brian! While it did have a major contender, Jelly Belly won because it’s widely available and shockingly accurate (to the point of reinventing cream soda).
Cherry Coke Infused Popcorn
Rhett’s Match Score: 3
Link’s Match Score: 5
Ah yes. This popcorn sold on Etsy by a small business just so happens to be based on a soda that Link doesn’t like. Who could’ve known? According to Link, it tastes “syrupy” and “cherrified” but it’s pretty subtle. Link didn’t have any negative remarks though. Rhett, a frequent drinker of Cherry Coke himself, despised the popcorn. “I don’t like this popcorn. That’s saying a lot.”
Orange Fanta Chips
Rhett’s Match Score: 10
Link’s Match Score: 9
The final soda snack is made by Orion, a South Korean company. The “tubular” french fry-like chips (made of an unidentifiable base because the ingredients are in Korean) were…amazing? Brilliant? Genius? No, none of those words sufficed. “It’s Fanta dude. It’s freaking Fanta,” Link shouted. Rhett agreed, “That’s so much Fanta.” The chips did, however, taste better before they got chewed up (which Link realized while letting the tubes sit in his mouth). Rhett re-emphasized his excitement: “I love them. Who would think that an orange-flavored chip would be good?” Well, none of us. The best part, though? The french fry shape has a little hole running through it, so they can be used as straws to drink Fanta. This isn’t recommended for taste of course, but for a good ‘ol time. While this chip was undoubtedly the most accurate of the soda snacks, it didn’t earn the title of Soda Snack Brian. Why? Well, after a lot of debate, the idea of the Jelly Belly beans tasting more like cream soda than cream soda was so revolutionary that the guys gave it the title.
Thoughts? Questions? Complete disagreement? Leave a comment!