This Chocolate Milk Has More Caffeine Than Red Bull—and It’s Pretty Darn Good

Sometimes, a product really wants to be everything. Pepsi wants their new cola to be fun and fiber-ful. Cup Noodles wants their new ramen to be tasty and protein-packed. The growing “everything and more” trend is rampant across the grocery store, but this might be the most egregious case yet: Spylt’s High-Protein Caffeinated Chocolate Milk.

Videos by Sporked

Spylt actually makes multiple different flavors of canned caffeinated milk; we snagged this extra-caffeinated chocolate milk for today’s review. Let me know in the comments if you want to see me review their other varieties: Vanilla Milkshake, Cookies & Cream, Peanut Butter Chocolate, and Strawberry!

Caffeinated Chocolate Milk!

Spylt Max Caffeinated High Protein Chocolate Milk Review

Pros: I try not to bring assumptions into the first sip of any review, but I was definitely expecting a chalky, weirdly harsh “chocolate drink” on par with the cheapest public school cartons. I was absolutely wrong. This smells and tastes like… chocolate milk! Not the expensive chocolate milk in the nice glass bottles that comes from cows that get read bedtime stories, but good old-fashioned chocolate milk.

When they say “Max Caffeinated,” they aren’t kidding; this 11oz can of caffeinated chocolate milk contains 140mg of caffeine. (For reference, a 12oz can of Red Bull contains just 114mg of caffeine.) There is a hint of a funky aftertaste I’ll chalk up to that caffeine plus the added protein, but far and away, the primary taste is solid chocolate milk. There are plenty of worse-tasting 20-gram protein shakes out there that aren’t doing double duty as an energy drink. (That said, the over-$4-per-can price tag certainly feels like buying two drinks at once.)

Cons: Carbonated or not, most cans are pressurized enough that I don’t instinctively treat them like a cocktail for James Bond. While this caffeinated chocolate milk doesn’t say it needs to be shaken before opening, the last few sips were mostly settled dairy material—unpleasant, to say the least. Lesson learned!

And while this skim milk drink doesn’t have to be refrigerated before opening, I certainly recommend keeping it cold if you don’t want to battle your brain’s warning against drinking room-temperature milk with every sip.

Credit: Griffin Parker / Spylt

Rating:

8.5/10

Sporks