We Cuddled Up to Trader Joe’s Peanut Butter Pillows

Trader Joe’s Peanut Butter Pillows are a mysterious little product. Pillows are soft; these are not. They look kind of like those butter mints you see languishing in a finger bowl in an old-school restaurant, but they aren’t minty. So what’s the deal with these little dudes—and are they good?

First of all, I think Trader Joe’s could have done a better job on the name. Call them something like Peanut Butter Crunchies, or even Peanut Butter Crisps now that the name isn’t being used. Because, really, that’s what they are: crunchy little candies with peanut butter in the middle. It’s not a glob of peanut butter like you’d find inside a pretzel, but rather a flaky, dry, crispy pocket of peanut butter. It’s shockingly reminiscent of the middle of a Butterfinger.

I carefully dissected a pillow with my teeth to see if I could tell a difference between the crispy outer layer and the peanut butter center, and it’s small but noticeable. The candy by itself lacks any salty influence from the PB layer and has a general, unremarkable sweetness to it. Be forewarned: Something happens to the mixture when you take a bite. All those layers of crispiness meld into a paste that’ll stick on your teeth for generations. But popping a handful of these and saying to hell with your oral health is too damn tempting! Trader Joe’s Peanut Butter Pillows have a genuinely pleasing peanut butter flavor that kept me eating.

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Trader Joe’s Peanut Butter Pillows

Trader Joe’s

Pros: The peanut butter sticks with you! This may sound like an absurd “pro,” but think about it. What’s the job of a mint? To freshen your breath by lingering in your mouth! TJ’s Peanut Butter Pillows have a similar effect, but you have to be okay with your breath smelling like peanut butter rather than mint. I had a few of these and could taste peanut butter on my tongue for hours. Going on a date with a certified Peanut Butter Boy? You will definitely get a kiss if you eat a few of these.

Cons: The most comical part of Trader Joe’s Peanut Butter pillows is that the packaging baits unsuspecting victims into biting into the candy. It’s described as a “satisfying” experience, but the only one who will be satisfied is your local dentist. They have to be in cahoots. One bite into these sweets had me praying for my fillings. If you ate enough of these at once, I truly believe you would run the risk of permanently glueing your teeth together, ironic considering pillow mints are known for their melt-in-your-mouth quality. These are novel and they taste pretty good, but I really can’t see them becoming anyone’s go-to sweet treat.

Rating:

6.5/10

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