You may have gathered this, but I’m deeply in love with Trader Joe’s. Did you know I also love pickles? I bet you didn’t! Because we haven’t met in person. But if we did, I’d say, “Hi, my name is Jessica, and I like Trader Joe’s and pickles.” However, this isn’t about me; this is about my beloved friend and confidant, Trader H. Joe. Just last week, he provided us all with something we didn’t even realize we desperately needed: Seasoning in a Pickle Seasoning Blend. We didn’t even realize we were in a pickle until Trader Joe’s, once again, helped us out of it.
So what’s in this pickley mystery blend? As the TJ’s website so eloquently states, the seasoning is “made from a mix of alluringly aromatic spices, including garlic and dried dill, plus bright & zippy powdered vinegar.” Essentially, it’s pickle salt. Just imagine what you could do with that! It could go on popcorn, roasted veggies, egg salad, deviled eggs, eggs (other), a bagel with lox, meat (as a dry brine), literally anything. In an Instagram post announcing the new seasoning, user @stephanierldavis commented that it would be a “great rim for a Bloody Mary” and hoooo boy do I agree with that. Or a pickleback with a pickle rim? Honestly, I kind of want to go hog wild and straight up dip a pickle in it. I’m a little worried this would create too much pickle power and accidentally tear a hole in the fabric of reality. But I might do it anyway, just to see what happens.
According to Trader Joe’s website, this “stupendous” new seasoning “lends its tangy, salty, and delightfully dilly pickle profile anywhere it’s used.” And I have no reason not to trust them, as they have never once steered me wrong (except that one time they sold me moldy mushrooms, but I choose to graciously overlook that, as forgiveness is part of a healthy relationship). Trader Joe’s is already famous for such legendary seasonings as Everything But the Bagel, 21 Seasoning Salute, and Chile Lime Seasoning Blend. But maybe there’s room for a new top dog in the house. Or a top pickle, if you will. This new seasoning became available last week, so it shouldn’t be long before we learn what the internet thinks of this perfectly puckering pickle product. Or, you know, we could find out the old fashioned way by heading on down to TJ’s and trying it for ourselves.