7 Trader Joe’s Products We Wanted To Love (But Just Couldn’t)

I have a love-hate relationship with Trader Joe’s. When they do a product well, it really works. Their best form is undoubtedly their use for party snacks. You can quickly pop into the store to grab something to pass around at a shindig. But when they fail? They fall flat on their face and that’s where I have a problem with them.

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There was about a year where I was trying a new TJ’s product every week. And boy did I find some real stinkers along the way. Here are the seven Trader Joe’s products that I wanted to love during that time but just couldn’t get behind.

Trader Joe’s Portuguese Donuts with a Chocolate Hazelnut Filling

I learned a valuable lesson on this day. Frozen donuts should not exist. The result is a sugar coating that turns into a sticky mess as they thaw out. And a resulting donut that is so dense and dry that I truly could not find enough water to wash it down. I think it’s still sitting in the back of my throat to this day.

Trader Joe’s Spaghetti with Meat & Sauce

There are 27g of protein in this spaghetti with meat and sauce and boy, do you notice every single bit of meat to get us there. That’s backed up by mushy noodles, not enough sauce, and bland frozen ground beef at that. Just save yourself the time and disappointment by making your own spaghetti and meat sauce yourself.

Trader Joe’s Lemon Pesto Sauce

I’m still not over the fact that the instructions for this pesto sauce consisted of “stir a few tablespoons into hot pasta.” I know I advocate for leading with your heart in the kitchen, but this pesto is so overwhelmingly lemony that you really need to add some more structure to the serving size.

Trader Joe’s Spicy Chicken Nuggets

I was genuinely surprised to see these spicy chicken nuggets still at Trader Joe’s when I last stopped in. They’re basically a dupe for school cafeteria chicken nuggets with nothing to deliver but generic heat. What a snooze fest.

Trader Joe’s Mini Brioche Bites

It’s rare for a Trader Joe’s appetizer to not wow us. Like seriously, pick any other frozen app out there and you’ll have a better time at your get together. These were different and not in a good way. They gave notes of warm, peachy yogurt. Yumm?

Trader Joe’s Crunchy Pops

I can be a salty guy at times but I have nothing on these Crunchy Pops from Trader Joe’s! They blast you with salt and the only respite is a heavy dose of pea flavor on the backend. It’s like trying to trick yourself into eating peas by mixing them into a bowl of mashed potatoes except you put in 95% peas and 5% potatoes.

Trader Joe’s Cheesy Creamy Greens & Veggies

Hey, at least I never gave a TJ’s product zero Sporks! Well actually I did once but it was buried in the archives of Sporked and never made its way to the light of day. Anyway, the best way to sum up these cheesy creamy greens and veggies from Trader Joe’s is that it’s yassified gruel. It’s a sad pile of gloop that will genuinely ruin your day if you were to try them.