Here’s What Aldi Snack You Are Based on Your Zodiac Sign

I firmly believe that there is an Aldi snack out there for everyone. So whether you are sweet, salty, bitter, or just plain wacky, there are delicious Aldi finds out there that will suit not only your palate but your personality as well. So without further Al-do, here is our like of what Aldi Snack you are based on your zodiac sign (though let’s be real, all-deez snacks are fire).

Aries (March 21-April 19): Clancy’s Original Potato Chips

aries aldi snack zodiac

Everyone likes plain salty potato chips. For some people, they are the best chip, and for others, they are not, but “plain” is nobody’s least favorite chip flavor. This is like Aries folks. They are popular people who are sure to be crowd-pleasers, and it is very tough to find a hated Aries person the same way it is very tough to find someone who hates plain ol’ greasy potato chips.

Read our ranking of the best Aldi chips

Taurus (April 20-May 20): Bake Shop Oatmeal Cranberry Cookies

aldi snacks zodiac taurus

These oatmeal cookies are so good they ranked above chocolate chip cookies when we taste tested all the cookies at Aldi. They are comforting, homey, and just bursting with Taurus energy (and cranberries). Oatmeal cookies bring a nice, calming vibe to any situation and diffuse the tension beautifully, just like Taurus people.

Read our ranking of the best Aldi cookies

Gemini (May 21-June 20): Clancy’s Kettle Sea Salt & Vinegar Potato Chips

aldi snacks zodiac gemini

What is more Gemini than two classic flavors coming together to make one zingy, chaotic, salty, acidic third thing? Nothing, that’s what. Salt and vinegar chips are the Gemini chip, and, no, I will not be taking questions at this time.

Read our ranking of the best Aldi chips

Cancer (June 21-July 22): Benton’s Peanut Butter Fudge Cookies

aldi snack zodiac cancer

These peanut butter cookies are a trip because first you’re thinking, “Ugh, a knockoff Tagalong.” But then you try them and you’re like, “Wait, a better Tagalong?!” Call me crazy but this is the story with most Cancers I have met in my life. I’m never sure we are going to hit it off at first and then before you know it we are sending each other TikToks daily, recommending dinner recipes to one another, and naming each other’s future cats.

Read our ranking of the best Aldi cookies

Leo (July 23-August 22): Clancy’s Barbecue Potato Chips

aldi snack zodiac leo

BBQ is a main-character flavor. Why? Because it just tends to be so much more flavorful than every other chip flavor on the chip spread. Is that bad? Not in this case! The BBQ flavor on these chips is a star and we love her for that. You get it—these BBQ chips are Leos.

Read our ranking of the best Aldi chips

Virgo (August 23-September 22): Simply Nature Dark Chocolate & Sea Salt Granola

aldi snack zodiac virgo

Granola is a practical food. You can eat it for breakfast or a late-night snack or an afternoon snack or a pre-dinner-while-cooking snack…you get it. You can have it whenever. This is much like Virgos, who even as the busiest of the signs are somehow always still there for you when you need them. It’s insane. Plus, Virgos may be busy but they also somehow always have a certain pizzazz, hence the pop of sea salt.

Read our ranking of the best granola

Libra (September 23-October 22): Clancy’s Loaded Bacon & Cheddar Wavy Potato Chips

aldi snack zodiac libra

There’s a lot going on here but somehow it all works in perfect umami harmony and balance. A Libra created these chips, no doot aboot it. They are potatoey perfection.

Read our ranking of the best Aldi chips

Scorpio (October 23-November 21): Simply Nature Keto Coconut Clusters in Dark Chocolate

aldi snack zodiac scorpio

Scorpios can have a tendency to be dark and mysterious, and these clusters are both dark (because of the dark chocolate) and mysterious (anything keto is a total mystery to me). But then when you try them they are actually just a super complex mix of textures, sweetness, coconut, and chocolate. Just like our Scorpio friends are a complex mix of all sorts of different emotions, talents, and thoughts.

Read our ranking of the best keto snacks

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): Simms Original Biltong

aldi biltong

Now you might not know what biltong is, but you can bet your Sagittarian friends do. And if they didn’t before you mentioned this article to them, you can bet they are looking it up as we speak. Sagittarians are always searching for new adventures, knowledge, experiences, and things to try, and this delicious snack is a great way to try South African-style jerky right here in the good ol’ A L of DI. (Online rumor has it this Aldi snack has been discontinued, but we’re holding out hope it comes back.)

Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Happy Farms Cheese Curds Cajun Cheddar

aldi snacks zodiac capricorn

Capricorns are mature and patient and are perhaps the only sign that would take the time to bread and fry these delicious cajun spiced cheese curds instead of opening the pack and eating them all immediately (hypothetically…I’ve never done that, what?!).

Read our ranking of the best Aldi cheese

Aquarius (January 20-February 18): Kirkwood Chicken Fries

aldi snack zodiac aquarius

Leave it to an inventive yet indecisive Aquarian to choose chicken nuggets in a french fry shape instead of opting for chicken nuggets or fries. And, hey, they are on to something here—more surface area means more crispy breading per bite of chicken, and that is something I think we can all get on board with. These are a fun, quirky invention that I think drastically improves the world, and there is nothing more Aquarian than that.

Read our ranking of the best chicken fries

Pisces (February 19-March 20): Benton’s Striped Fudge Cookies

aldi snack zodiac pisces

Are these a dupe for the Keebler Fudge Stripes? Yes. Are they as good? Also yes. These are a fantastic sweet treat that taps into that whimsical ’90s and ’00s nostalgia. As the most romantic, whimsical, and nostalgic of the signs, these cookies are Pisces through and through. Bring some to your next hang with your Pisces friends and just ~reminisce~.

Read our ranking of the best Aldi cookies

About the Author

Jessica Block

Jessica Block is a freelance contributor to Sporked, a comedian, a baker, a food writer, and a firm believer that Trader Joe's may just be the happiest place on earth. She loves spicy snacks, Oreos, baking bread, teeny tiny avocados, and trying new foods whenever she can. Also, if you give her a bag of Takis she will be your best friend.

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