I recently put together a helpful roundup of the best and beaniest products at the grocery store, a piece of content that would obviously appeal to Mythical’s resident bean fiend, Rhett McLaughlin. Now it’s time to do a solid for my boy Link Neal. See, everyone knows by now that Link doesn’t like tomatoes (except Link’s dad, apparently). Controversial though it may be, I’m with Link on this one. Tomatoes are wet, slimy, and instantly ruin any dish they’re in. Unless they’ve been turned into beautifully crafted Heinz ketchup, I don’t want ’em! If you’re also turned off by tomatoes but you don’t want to give up frozen pizza, here’s our list of the best pizzas for tomato haters. No tomatoes or tomato sauce in sight!
- Newman’s Own Stone Fired Crust Quattro Formaggi
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This pizza has everything there is to love about Neapolitan-style pizza, minus the tomato sauce. You get the chewy, bubbly crust, the creamy, stretchy cheese, and even the bright, lovely basil. Honestly, even if you do like tomatoes, you’re going to like this pie. Sporked editor-in-chief Justine Sterling called it “a real feat of baking science to make a frozen white pizza that puffs up so yeasty and crusty in the oven—as if it was homemade dough.” So few frozen pizzas actually taste homemade, but this one nails it. It’s also a beautiful blank slate of a pie—drizzle it with balsamic, pile it with prosciutto, or, hell, if you insist on tomatoes, crack open a can of diced San Marzanos and scatter them right on top.
Read the full ranking of the best frozen white pizza
- Cappello’s Spinach Caramelized Onion White Pizza
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Hating tomatoes and being gluten intolerant could certainly make life difficult for a pizza lover, but Capello’s Spinach Caramelized Onion White Pizza is here to help. This pizza’s gluten-free, almond flour-based crust has a satisfying chew that a lot of GF products just don’t have. According to Sporked‘s own taste testers, they wouldn’t have known this pie was GF if the box didn’t say so. The other elements are excellent, too. Justine described the white sauce as “subtly garlicky and cheesy,” adding that the caramelized onions are perfectly sweet and the spinach manages to avoid being either too wet or too crispy out of the oven. Even if you can tolerate gluten, you’re going to like this pie—especially if you’re a tomato hater.
Read the full ranking of the best frozen white pizza
- California Pizza Kitchen Bacon & Caramelized Onion Croissant Crust Pizza
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I’m an absolute sucker for a croissant crust and you should be, too. Who doesn’t love a buttery, crispy pizza-pastry mashup?? Crazy people, that’s who. And CPK really nailed it with this tomato-free frozen pizza. “This is an A+ frozen pizza,” wrote Jordan Myrick, a person who eats and generally appreciates tomatoes. They’re just not needed here! The white sauce and cheese create a delicious, creamy goo, the caramelized onions are sweet, and the bacon is smoky and salty. This is a well-thought-out frozen pizza, no tomatoes needed.
Read the full ranking of every CPK product at the grocery store
- Trader Joe’s Roasted Garlic & Pesto Pizza with Deep Fried Crust
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For some weird reason, pesto just seems like tomato sauce’s natural opposite. It’s green instead of red. It can be put on pasta just like marinara sauce. And, honestly, I think it brings more flavor to the table. It’s salty, cheesy, nutty—meanwhile tomatoes are just tomatoey. Get out of here with that, and get this TJ’s Roasted Garlic & Pesto Pizza, which, and I cannot stress this enough, is made atop a deep fried crust. Yes, you read that right. Justine’s one criticism of this pie was that it could have been a little more garlicky, but I’m just over here stoked that it isn’t slathered with tomato sauce or scattered with soggy, flavorless diced tomatoes. Count your freaking days tomatoes; pesto is here to take over!
Read the full ranking of Trader Joe’s frozen pizza
- Trader Joe’s Shrimp & Garlic Flatbread
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Sure, you could combine tomatoes with seafood, but seafood—shrimp in particular—just works so well with a creamy sauce. Even if you love tomatoes, the bright, garlicky, and herby flavor of Trader Joe’s Shrimp & Garlic Flatbread is great enough to make you wonder if tomatoes aren’t incidental to a perfect pizza pie. The best part of this dish for tomato haters? The shrimp are actually firm, something a tomato wishes it could be. Justine has never let me down when it comes to frozen pizza recs, so obviously I’m taking this one to heart.
Read the full ranking of Trader Joe’s frozen pizza
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