Thanksgiving is right around the corner, so you know what that means: It’s time to get excited about Thanksgiving sides. No one’s favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner is the turkey (and if it is, I respectfully encourage you to take a step back and reassess). No, the highlight is objectively the loads and loads of creamy, salty, sweet, and delicious side dishes, and the sheer variety makes them all the more enticing. What can I say, the people love the sides. And not only is there a Thanksgiving side to fit everyone’s individual taste, but I firmly believe there is also a side to fit each individual’s personality. Without further ado, here is what Thanksgiving side you are based on your zodiac sign.
Aries (March 21-April 19): Mac and Cheese
It is actively difficult to find someone who hates mac and cheese. It is pasta and cheese. What’s there to hate? Similarly, it is actively difficult to find an unlikeable Aries. They are chill and go with the flow, but are also able to step up and lead when need be. They are an all-around positive presence for the vast majority of people, just like mac and cheese is.
Read our ranking of the best frozen mac and cheese
Taurus (April 20-May 20): Gravy
Tauruses have a calming effect on the people around them and just generally tend to take the edge off situations. Gravy does the same thing. Turkey without gravy is bland, dry, and crusty. Pour on the gravy and suddenly it’s a smooth, rich, protein-packed extravaganza that doesn’t make you question why the heck we still make one of the toughest-to-cook-at-home proteins for Thanksgiving every year.
Read our ranking of the best store bought gravy
Gemini (May 21-June 20): Sweet Potato Casserole
I mean, we all know why Geminis have to be sweet potato casserole. Both of them have two very distinct sides: the business side and the sweet side. Geminis have the ability to be simultaneously intense and driven (like the nutrient-packed sweet potato part) and also sweet, whimsical, and chaotic (like the floofy marshmallow part).
Read our ranking of the best canned yams and sweet potatoes
Cancer (June 21-July 22): Butternut Squash Soup
Squashes are hard on the outside and soft on the inside when you bake them in the oven, and often times to make this seasonal little soup, you have to roast up some squash. The metaphor is there too, though, as Cancers may seem a bit unapproachable or intimidating at first, but once you get to know them you realize they are big ol’ softies.
Read our ranking of the best butternut squash soup
Leo (July 23-August 22): Mashed Potatoes
I mean come on. Finish the sentence: “For Thanksgiving we are having Turkey with gravy and _____.” I would bet actual dollars that most people would say mashed potatoes. They have just about the most main character energy a side dish could have without being the actual main course. But let’s face it: Mashed potatoes are the real main course of Thanksgiving. I don’t know a single person who actually fills up on turkey. In the same way, Leos tend to shine brightly no matter what situation you throw them into, and while, yes, they love to be the center of attention, sometimes that’s just well-deserved.
Read our ranking of the best premade mashed potatoes
Virgo (August 23-September 22): Canned Cranberry Sauce
Virgos are busy people and if you invite them to your Friendsgiving, chances are they will want to bring something they don’t have to spend too much time on—Virgos always have bigger fish to fry. That is why they are canned cranberry sauce. It is quick, it is easy, and, in my opinion, it is way better than the non-canned stuff anyway. Also, Virgos are adaptable and great at switching gears quickly, and cranberry sauce is perhaps the most adaptable thing on the Thanksgiving menu—it goes with literally anything it happens to touch on the plate.
Read our ranking of the best canned cranberry sauce
Libra (September 23-October 22): Stuffing
Stuffing is perhaps one of the most well-balanced foods out there. It is savory, a little sweet, filled with spices and herbs, aggressively umami, crunchy, soft, and so much more. It is truly a dream come true for balance- and harmony-loving Libras, which is why Libras have to be the stuffing.
Read our ranking of the best boxed stuffing
Scorpio (October 23-November 21): Creamed Corn
Creamed corn is kind of a sleeper in the grand scheme of Thanksgiving sides. People forget it exists, but then every time it pops up, they remember that, a.) they love it and, b.) they don’t fully know what it is (spoiler alert it is just cream, butter, flour, sugar, and, wait for it, corn). Scorpios are a bit out there and mysterious, but once people get to know them, they really love them, even if they are a little strange at times. But hey, non-strange people are simply non-interesting. And that is a fact. So go date some creamed corn.
Read our ranking of the best canned and creamed corn
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): Roasted Fall Vegetables
Leave it to a curious Sagittarius to know what is in season this Thanksgiving. Knowledge-seeking Sagittariuses are bound to be those people who have been going to the farmer’s market and keeping track of what veggies are fresh right now and you can trust them to make an informed choice about what to put in their roasted veggie mix.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Cornbread
Cornbread is baking and baking takes patience, so it makes sense that Capricorn, the most patient of the signs would be cornbread. Plus, everyone loves cornbread, the same way everyone loves and respects a Capricorn’s rare ability to be an adult about things and to wait for the right time to do/say things. Capricorns are the wise, calm, cornbread-esque friends we all need.
Read our ranking of the best cornbread mix
Aquarius (January 20-February 18): Green Bean Casserole
Green bean casserole is a conundrum. It sounds disgusting, tastes delicious, and has fried onions and a can of mushroom soup in it for some reason—this stuff is pure chaos, but leave it to an Aquarius to come up with a recipe that consists of a pretty unpopular veggie mixed with a strange soup and somehow tastes fantastic every single time. Aquariuses love to make do with the resources they are given and it’s clear that that is exactly how green bean casserole came about when it was invented by Campbell’s soup company back in 1955 to sell cream of mushroom soup.
Read our rankings of the best canned green beans and the best cream of mushroom soup
Pisces (February 19-March 20): Dinner Rolls
Pisces are whimsical and romantic, and that reminds me a lot of soft, fluffy, King’s Hawaiian-esque dinner rolls. Plus, Pisces loves to share and spend time with others and there are few things more satisfying or friendship-solidifying than pulling apart a big ol’ rectangle of connected dinner rolls and passing them around a table to family or friends. Lastly, and I am aware how dumb this is, “Pisces” sounds kind of like “pieces,” and since you rip these to pieces to share, Pisces. I know, it’s very deep.
Read our ranking of the best dinner rolls
Ok who in their right mind is picking creamed spinach. No hate if you do but that is the lowest tier food possible.
My partner: Gravy. Me: Mashed potatoes. His first response: “I go on top of you.”