The Ultimate Bougie Burger

Sometimes you want a classic burger—patty, American cheese, ketchup—and sometimes you want to treat yourself. So, we here at Sporked have donned our monocles and our silk gloves and tasted all the fanciest burger ingredients to find the very best (that’s still affordable). Dust off your top hat, and have your butler unveil what’s under that silver platter…hint: It’s hot off the grill!

Grass Run Farms 100% Grass Fed Natural Ground Beef Patties

The Burger Patties

Grass Run Farms 100% Grass Fed Natural Ground Beef Patties

When constructing the ideal elements of a high-end hamburger, one simply must go with grass-fed meat. Our research shows Grass Run Farms 100% Grass Fed Natural Ground Beef Patties are the best of the best. They are “thick, lean, rich-tasting with a fantastic chew,” according to managing editor Gwynedd Stuart’s recent rundown of the best frozen burgers, Grass Run Farms knows their stuff when it comes to making a fabulous tasting patty.

Credit: Liv Averett / Instacart

Orowheat Country Potato Sandwich Buns

The Bun

Orowheat Country Potato Sandwich Buns

Free of preservatives and dusted with flour for that straight-from-the-bakery feel, we recommend Orowheat Country Potato Sandwich Buns for your elegant barbecue. Gourmet all the way, these potato buns, which Sporked named as “best gourmet” in the best burger buns ranking, have a subtle sweetness that will have you ignoring your keto vow (good riddance!). Plus, Orowheat does a fantastic job making sure their burger buns are just plain big!

Credit: Sarah Demonteverde / Amazon

Maille Dijon Originale

The Mustard

Maille Dijon Originale

Folks, have we got the best Dijon mustard for you! Officially “the punchiest, zestiest dijon on the market,” according to our own Jordan Myrick, Maille Dijon Originale will elevate your burger into the stratosphere. This aggressive French offering is the type of mustard that hits you right in the nose, but unlike when it happens in a barroom brawl, you’ll be asking for more. Make sure to spread it on your burger along with a mighty fine mayo (which we’ll get to in just a quick second…).

Credit: Sarah Demonteverde / Walmart

Truff Black Truffle Infused Mayonnaise

The Mayo

Truff Black Truffle Infused Mayonnaise

This one is a no-brainer! Definitely select Truff Black Truffle Infused Mayonnaise for your bougie mayo option. Its earthy, truffle-forward taste is unparalleled. In his ranking of the best mayonnaise, Sporked contributor Danny Palumbo asserted you could even “use it as a dip for chips.” (Did anyone try this out? Please let us know!) Best of all, it doesn’t break the bank! Your giant pile of gold coins will hardly see a dent, and you can keep diving into them without fear of hitting the floor.

Credit: Merc / Amazon

 Kerrygold Reserve Cheddar

The Cheese

Kerrygold Reserve Cheddar

A high-end burger calls for the best cheddar, and we think Kerrygold Reserve Cheddar is the perfect choice for the occasion. Aged for two years before it’s packaged, this Irish cheddar has a remarkably bold flavor that packs a wallop. It will bring out the best in your burger, and have you heading back to the fridge for a solo slice afterward.  

Credit: Sarah Demonteverde / Target

Coleman Natural Hickory Smoked Uncured Bacon

The Bacon

Coleman Natural Hickory Smoked Uncured Bacon

Not every burger demands a few strips of bacon, but if we’re going bougie, then we’re going all out. Bring on the bac’!!! We’ve found that Coleman Natural Hickory Smoked Uncured Bacon is the way to go when searching for the finest quality meat. In Gwynedd’s best bacon ranking, she called out the brown sugar in the brine, which gives it a deliciously sweet undercurrent. The perfect capper to a classy burger! One more please, Jeeves!

Credit: Sarah Demonteverde / Instacart

cookout week sporked

It’s Cookout Week at Sporked!

To kick off summer, we’re highlighting all the best foods and drinks you should be buying for cookouts, BBQs, grilling seshes, or any other type of al fresco partying and eating you’ll be doing this season.

About the Author

Joe Rumrill

Joe Rumrill is a fictional one-eyed spinach-loving sailor created in 1929 by E.C Se- Wait, no, that's not right... Joe Rumrill is a stand up comedian and writer currently based in Los Angeles. His favorite thing about food is a close tie between the taste and the nutrients one gets from it. His least favorite thing about it is the "gritty, dirt-like quality some food has", but he's most likely referring to the time in third grade he was dared to eat playground sand.

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