We Have Deets on the 7 New Flavors of Hidden Valley Ranch

Ranch freaks, brace yourselves: Hidden Valley Ranch is introducing not one, not two, but seven new ranch flavors over the course of March and April. I thought we reached peak Hidden Valley Ranch news when pickle ranch became a thing, but you know what, this announcement might have it beat.

As a ranch dressing freak myself, my first thought was “um, oh my god, is it my birthday?” Which, no. No it’s not. But with National Ranch Day coming up on March 10 (arguably one of the top 10 annual holidays), you could certainly argue that it’s ranch’s birthday. And Hidden Valley Ranch, the daddy of ranch brands, is spoiling her silly. 

What 7 new flavors will Daddy HVR (Hidden Valley Ranch) be gifting us this spring? 

Great question, reader—and nicely phrased. These are the new Hidden Valley Ranch flavors, in roughly the order of what I’m personally most excited to try. (It might not be my birthday, but I still get to make the rules sometimes.)

Garlic Ranch

Y’all, pizza is never going to be the same. Garlic + ranch? It’s a no-brainer. When I heard this was a “new flavor” being released, I was actually pretty confused. Surely this isn’t the first time Daddy HVR released a garlic ranch? A quick Google search informed me that they also have a roasted garlic dressing, but judging by the branding here, this new garlic ranch might be closer to a dipping sauce. I’m very ready for this. If I never have to pay for a side of ranch from Dominos again, I’m sold. 

Spicy Hot Honey

Before you judge me for how high on the list this one is, just know: I’m big on fried chicken sandwiches. I know in my heart of hearts that this new ranch flavor is going to be a swoon-worthy addition to my spicy breaded chicken. Or downright strange. There’s really no in-between, and that’s all I’m going to say on the matter.

Cheezy Ranch

Cheezy Ranch is the official name for Hidden Valley Ranch’s dipping sauce collab with Cheez-Its. We don’t have a super detailed timeline for when the rest of these new ranch flavors are reaching grocery stores—we expect they’re going to be rolled out slowly over the next two months. But we do know Cheezy Ranch will hit Walmart shelves in late March and Kroger stores in April. There, I think I did my part providing important and factual information as a food journalist, don’t you? You’re welcome!

Green Goddess

It’s creamy. It’s herby. It’s either Baked by Melissa’s worst nightmare or her dream come true. Daddy HVR is clearly hitting all the food groups with this new ranch flavor lineup, because this might be the gluten-free, keto-friendly dressing that changes your salad and grain bowl game forever. 

Nashville Hot

I know we’re getting to the latter half of the list here, but don’t get me wrong: I’m excited to try all of these flavors. I actually have a sneaking suspicion Nashville Hot might turn out to be the best one, simply because it’s hard to go wrong with a spicy ranch. Daddy HVR calls it a “spicy sizzle in every drizzle,” and you know what, that’s some BBQ grill dad energy right there. 

Parmesan Ranch

Daddy HVR calls this Parmesan Ranch a “a tangy twist for a classic Caesar salad,” which is very intriguing. Will this new ranch flavor fool me into believing it’s just a creamy, buttermilk-y Caesar salad dressing, or will this be something else entirely? Time will tell, time will tell…

Creamy Jalapeno

If you’re not planning to drizzle this on tacos or nachos, I don’t know what you’re doing. I can’t confidently say that Daddy HVR has tried to come out with a taco condiment before, but like I said, they’re clearly hitting all the food groups with these new flavors. It definitely looks like a jalapeno lime crema. Here’s hoping it tastes like one, too.

Wait, sorry, did you say Cheezy Ranch?! Like Cheez-it and Ranch are going in on this together? 

You bet! Let me direct you to @candyhunting on Instagram for an image of this bottle, because if there’s one thing to anticipate about Cheezy Hidden Valley Ranch, it’s just how orange this stuff is going to be. Like spray-cheese orange. Personally, I’m super excited to slather this stuff on wings—and, if I’m really dialed into chaos mode, try it as a salad dressing. Salads don’t have to be healthy, right? It’s okay if they’re bright orange and taste like cheese, right? 

One thing’s for sure: We’ll be taste tasting all of these new Hidden Valley Ranch flavors as soon as humanly possible. Stay tuned for our reviews.

About the Author

Ariana Losch

Ariana Losch is a Sporked contributor, webcomic writer, java junkie, and bad TV enthusiast. She only ever feels at peace laying out on a beach like a kebab, roasting in the sun; sadly, she can never move back to Florida, her home state, because there simply isn’t enough good Mediterranean food. You can find her overstaying her welcome at just about every LA coffee shop, working on a screenplay and avoiding all eye contact. (She is embarrassed to be there, please leave her alone.)

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