Y’all, I have a confession to make: I unironically LOVE Quaker instant oatmeal. These little packets are simply the best—all you have to do is add water, microwave, et voila, instant oatmeal! Guess that explains the name. As a kid, I used to get a variety pack that included apple cinnamon, maple brown sugar, and cinnamon spice flavors, and believe me when I tell you, there was no wrong choice (and they were all worth the severe tongue burns). Now, Quaker has stepped it up one more notch by introducing a new line of “indulgent” instant oatmeal, which begs the question: How much more indulgent can these packets of liquified oatmeal cookies get?
Turns out, a whole lot more indulgent. Forget the old-school Quaker flavors ranging from Peaches & Cream to Coconut Caramel to S’mores (yes, this exists). This new line of indulgent oatmeal innovations currently includes two flavors: Chocolate, which contains whole grain oats and semisweet chocolate chips, and Cookies & Cream, which contains whole grain oats, dried milk and cream, and chocolate cookie crumbles. Um, hell yeah. I guess if any group of people knows how to make breakfast (or any event) into a party, it’s the Quakers.
I’m wondering if it’s even fair to call this stuff “oatmeal.” At what point does a product stop being oatmeal and start being a breakfast mug cake? Not that I’m complaining. I have fond childhood memories of not adding quite enough water to my Quaker instant oatmeal and ending up with less of a porridge and more of a delicious, sugary breakfast brick. Would I eat a cookies and cream-flavored sugary oatmeal brick? 100%. Nobody is above that. Do I think it would be as “heart healthy” as plain, unflavored oatmeal? Absolutely not. But who on earth is eating cookies and cream oatmeal to be healthy?